33 ~ Jules Smith

September 22, 2016 11:54am Published by Jules Smith in Satirical Snapshots 35 Comments

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Jules Smith ~ 33 ~ brings you a collection of thirty -three, flash fiction stories offering a snapshot in time and delving into the many layers of human behaviour. Each tale exposing the rich tapestry of emotion that we all prefer to hide behind closed doors.

There’s nothing quite as interesting as human behaviour. People are all about their public presentation and how well they are perceived to the outside word. But me, well I like to tear through those veils and pull out all the real human emotions and flaws that stay locked within.

Those of you who know me well or have followed this blog for sometime, are aware that I have an odd penchant for photographing doors from around the world. I don’t know why, but I find doors fascinating; particularly really old, weathered doors that have stood strong against the years and been passed through by many.

Some doors stay barricaded; some are always open; some hang on their hinges bearing the tattered scars of life. Doors have stories and so do people.

My new book ~ 33 ~ brings you a collection of thought provoking short stories: sometimes dark, truculent or moving and at other times, cynically humorous. I guarantee there will be a story in here that resonates with you.

33 is a book that is suitable for ages from 20-100 and any gender which means I have thoughtfully got your Christmas presents for everyone all wrapped up. They’ll even gift wrap and post it from Amazon leaving you with spare time to enjoy the festivities whilst everyone else trudges the streets with carrier bags slicing into their fingers. You’re welcome.

So,

If you love me, you’ll buy my book.

If you like me, you’ll buy my book.

If you don’t like me, why are you here? GET OFF MY PAGE! Go to another page – preferably Amazon and buy my book ~ 33.

Good karma comes to those who buy – Bad JuJu comes to those who don’t…

Available now as a paperback or on Kindle from Amazon platforms around the globe.

BUY: HERE FOR UK  BUY: HERE FOR USA

READ MY BOOK BOOK PITCH / INTERVIEW HERE

35 Comments

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Wonderful. Purchased. If only there were 66 so it could be as devilish as I am.
You must visit me some time for tea so we can chat. No biscuit dunking though, we don’t do that in the south you know.

Congratulations on the book. Kitty.

Why thank you, Kitty! I’m honoured. Long time no see!

I wouldn’t dream of dunking a biscuit in your manor house, no matter how scrumptious 🙂

I ordered the hard copy from Amazon.com and opted for two-day delivery. I think that this is one of those books that I’ll want to hold as I read in a way that you can’t do with a Kindle.

Thank you, Larry. You’re top dollar you are. I’ve always said it. 😉

And I agree. It is one of those books. You gotta feel it, smell it, and open it like a door again and again! 🙂

on the list! only 93 more shopping days. you’re my favorite author.

official movie soundtrack when it gets optioned:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AYSbztCCTlA

*)

Speak to me in a language I can hear
humour me before I have to go
Deep in thought I forgive everyone
As the cluttered streets greet me once again..

Perfect. Thank you, my sweet, for your constant support *)

Does this mean I’ve got to learn to read now?

It’s time Masher. I mean, I can do you an audio book if you really, really insist but I think that you’ve got to move on from those picture – ahem- books now 🙂

I love you, so I’ll buy the book. There’s no doubt about it.

Congrats, Jules Dear. I’m Proud of you with a capital P.

Blue

Ah, Blue. What a lovely thing to say. I miss someone saying that to me.
Love you too, my big hunk o’ Blue 🙂

Congratulations, Jules. I’m looking forward to reading this along with your other two I just bought. Good writers deserve to be read.

Thank you very much! It’s very much appreciated. 🙂

I just love titles which are numbers! There’s something so deadly and sparse about them! Was there an aftershave called ‘Brut 33’? I’m sure it’s just a coincidence.

Everything about me is deadly and sparse, Mr. Gorilla Bananas. How about that for coincidence. If you buy my book it smells of Brut 33..

Brilliant…as Always!
😎

Well look at you with your new swag Gravatar!
Thanks TC, Glad you’re enjoying it and thank you for your support 🙂

Congratulations! I’m sure that it will be as brilliant as your other two. I’m just waiting for its delivery now. Really anxious.

Sol, you proper star. Thank you so much. I am most honoured. I hope you mean anxious in a good way and not in a “oh my, what next” way 🙂

Never in that way.

I’m anxious to receive my book, sit back with a Jim Beam Black, and enjoy each and every one of 33 stories. Each of which will be thoroughly fascinating, I’m sure.
In fact, I may ration myself to a couple per night. I do love my Beam.

Haha! I think each and every one will be exceptionally better with a Jim Beam, rationed of course 😉

Damn. With your new titles, you sure are trying to convince the world of how cynical you are.

You like poking the bear, don’cha, Solaratov….:)

Well, I could have put “artsy fartsy, dilly dallying and flitting about like a lost butterfly” but that shit don’t sell.

This came about because I was asked to define myself the other day. I couldn’t answer. How on earth do I define myself?

“What are you?” they said.

“Bonkers.”

“No. Really. Stop pissing about and give me a real definition.”

“I don’t know..I write stuff.”

“About what?”

“Well you’ve read it! You know, stuff. Like everyday stuff. Observational”

“WTF does that mean to anyone?”

*Crickets* I mean, that’s a fair point even though it irked me.

“Everyday Jules, Like it says. That’s what I write about’

“Which means nothing. Nobody is going to go to Google and type in ‘everyday writing.’ Try again.”

Pushy people really wind me up..

“Comedic, sardonic, humorous…I guess.”

“Lame. More succinct. Narrow it down.”

“ARRRRR! I can’t! I don’t fit neat little boxes like that or write about one topic. You’re pissing me off.”

“You’re pissing me off more. Give me an answer. What’s your style? Explain your posts, what are they?”

“Satirical snapshots!” I snapped, spilling red hot, caramel latte down my newly laundered top.

“Perfect. That’s your new title.”

They wrote the sub heading which just goes to prove that my initial comment of bonkers was in fact, accurate.

Apparently, I am now defined. Defined and dangerous. And yes, cynical. 🙂

I like “Defined and Dangerous.” Or maybe “Blarmed and Dangerous.” Is ‘blarmed’ a word? Probably not. What’s the past subjunctive perfunctory of ‘blarmy’? That should be a word, dammit!

Just to be clear, I was referring to the slang word ‘blarmy’ defined to mean, roughly, ‘badass’. Certainly NOT the English slang ‘barmy’, which is quite a bit worse. I did NOT call you that, Jules! The definition I used was like this:

Blarmy – An internet army composed of bloggers and/or their fans. Also used in reference to any large group of internet users attacking a specific target such as a large corporation or website. Methods of attack include flaming on comment sections, unintentionally (most of the time) crashing servers, and/or hacking.
“Don’t mess with the Oatmeal, his blarmy will tear you to shreds”

Whew! This blogging can be dangerous!

Haha! Grunt, I would never take offence to anything you say or take it in the wrong way, you silly sausage! In fact, I often refer to myself as barmy, anyway so even if you HAD meant that, I’d have agreed. I don’t mind blarmy badass either! Besides, why would I ever take umbrage with you and your beautiful wife when I know how stocked your wine cellar is……

Blarmed is actually an old English word so “Blarmed and Dangerous” am I along with my Blarmy of nutters on here! I LIKE it! 🙂

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I think” Satirical Snapshots” defines your writing style well and I’m impressed you came up with that in a moment of pressure. However, I think that some of us that read you can easily see the sensitive soul that hides behind the cynical veneer.
BTW – I’ve just finished your book, 33, and I was hooked. There are some very dark and interesting twists which really surprised me. Excellent.

Blimey, you don’t mess about do ya! Well thank you for the compliment. So what was your favourite story then?

That’s a difficult one, Jules. I don’t think I have a definite favorite as quite a few stood out for me. I thought “Her Minds Eye” very moving, I enjoyed the subconscious, singing rhyme of the clown and I don’t believe I will ever enter an elevator again without wondering what is going on in the minds’ of the other occupants.

Haha! Well, now you know that you’ll probably take the escalators! The clown is my favourite.

CHECK OUT MY BOOK PITCH AT THIS SITE – PEOPLE! I’m using capitals to exaggerate the importance..
http://tiredoftalkingaboutmyself.blogspot.co.uk/2016/09/2-minute-book-pitch-for-33-by-jules.html

Well, hell! I thought it was going to be a video.
Oh, well…nice pitch. It got the check, didn’t it?
B

No, just an interview. I save my videos for shooting, off roading, sea splashing and Harley rides.

Waiting for the cheque….:)

Bought your book & am loving it, the perfect read for cozying up with a hot chocolate in a Lake District cottage X

BF Forevs! Enjoy your holiday my friend and I’ll see you for a few scoops on Saturday and lets put the world to rights ONCE AND FOR ALL….;)

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