Another Mystery Solved

May 22, 2016 3:19am Published by Jules Smith in Whimsy On A Wednesday 20 Comments


I am still going strong in my mission to Americanise myself a little and have now been here for a total of 55 days.

“Well my time went so quickly, I went lickety-splickly out to my old ’55 ..”

I still have things to conquer and so plan to stay for my full allowed allotment until someone either adopts me, sponsors me or gives me a job that I don’t really have to do.

I came back from Key West in this sexy beast.  Another check on my endless bucket list.  I particularly liked the fact it was even louder than a Harley Davidson.  I’m competitive like that.



The beautiful Dodge Challenger….purrrr…..

Anyway, on to the main post issue.

I have solved yet another mystery for y’all.

Like last year when I found out the ‘Meaning of Life’ which basically went along the lines of:

  • Follow your heart/dreams.
  • Don’t listen to nay sayers and dream crushers.
  • Believe in yourself and go conquer your desires.

Thats what everyone said.  And then when you go and do just that, they say:

  • Be a bit more sensible.
  • Why are you doing that?
  • Calm down a bit you nutter.

Errr….Hello duplicity!  Who Dares Wins.  

Mystery is overrated. It’s so much better in your imagination where it has the power to go off the charts to somewhere terribly exciting.  In fact, the answers are usually quite simple.

Now I’ve solved another, very long standing mystery that has had people wondering for years.

You’re welcome.  Here it is….


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Haha, you’re something else Jules. Don’t ever change. Nice car by the way! xx

It’s impossible to change now, Tracy. My insanity is too ingrained. It’s a proper nice car! x

And there was me thinking it was crossing the road to get to the other chicken.
For one moment, I thought you were going to show us some hot chicken action. I’m glad you didn’t… it being a Sunday an’ all.
Mmmm… hot chicken.

That’s the cock following the chicken, Masher. That’s probably why the chicken crossed the road.

Hot chicken action? Me/ On a Sunday? KFC. 😉

Agreed! I thought I saw where this was going and I got slightly uncomfortable in anticipation of the event!!!

Oh I love this trust! Y’all thought I was up to no good! I don’t know where you get these notions…. 🙂

Dodge rider. The challenge(r) of a woman who does not exist (according to British STATS) in her attempt to rev through the streets of America and teach them how to use vowels and put milk in their tea. *)

If you’re serious about Americanizing yourself, you’re going to have to swap out that “s” for a “z”. And it’s not ZED. It’s ZEE. You’re welcome.
Y’all. Please. Who you tryin’ to fool, chicken?

Look Mark, I have to maintain some standards and one of them is proper spelling! I just learnt today that you say carmel instead of caramel… What’s that all about? Y’all have such irritable vowel syndrome. 🙂

What a fine fowl! Is that the first time you’ve admired a gentleman’s rooster, Jules?

I like the way you revved your car – it sounded as if it was clearing its throat!

A gentlemans rooster indeed, Mr. Gorilla Bananas. I’ve never got close enough to admire such a thing. I hope he prunes well.

My car roared like a tigress. So sad to give it back to Budget!


Love the post my dear !
Sounds like America is slowly returning to normal after your bomb blast arrival. I am having withdrawl symptoms due to your lack of posts on military hardware – and you shooting up in Texas.

Some parts of the book “Black Dog Down” have been roughly sketched out and I would love your constructive destruction . Tried to inject a bit of sexy romance but could not find enough technical data on the subject, so have scrubbed that angle to the book .

Nearly had a wobbly moment over the title but staying with my original gut feeling – I did not think that – “Who Cares Who Wins” would be go down well with the top brass.

As we old soldiers say “keep your powder dry” 🙂

Black Dog Down

I seem to have this twice! Yeah, what’s all that about shooting up!? I shall start calling you Charlie. Good grief! Glad you’re getting into the novelist mode and finding out just how easy that is…..NOT.

Sorry you got my message twice, the reactions of the true military man dies hard. One message, then another to make sure as in double tap.
I did try and explain that I made a mistake about shooting up in Texas – it was meant to be funny – never argue with a girlie with a gun.
Am learning about writing though – usually getting the right words down but not always in the right order !
With my background, it is about using observational skills, the play on words, humour and getting inside someones head. Struggling with “Black Dog Down” as I tend to spray punctuation around. the. way. you. discharge. shotgun. cartridges.
When we patrolled in the deep Central American jungle the last man of the team was always called “tail end charlie” Thought it was strange as sometimes it was Bob and once we had a Horace.
Chilled wine here so easy to write all night – just difficult to publish.

Black Dog Down

Ah, I see. Very sensible. Make sure you hit it twice and its really dead!
Never argue with a gun slinging chick, no. Also very wise!
Tail end Horace doesn’t have the same ring to it, I do agree.
Wine, I find, helps aid the imagination along with the fact that I am convinced that military people never bloody sleep!


Sorry, I meant to type – shooting in Texas, not shooting up in Texas !! 🙂

Black Dog Down

I hear ya. Freudian….:)

I know what you mean but your body has been trained to adapt to operational conditions. If you fall asleep on stag, the unit may be compromised leading to mission failure and the team killed or captured.
There have been times in my murky past when I have been so exhausted, I slept on a clothes line.

Horace was a silly name full stop !! He was ex Eton, double hyphened surname and had eyes that looked in different directions – ideal for observing possible ambush positions, so it was like having an extra team member.
Must dash and get on with my really not exciting book – trying a different coloured crayon tonight – red. Love red but not always on pencils.
I see you have listed a new posting, so more wine required.

Black Dog Down

Horace the boz eyed Etonian. Now there’s a title!

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