Off Piste Posting (Any day thoughts)
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Throwback Thursday!

August 27, 2020 11:20am Published by Jules Smith in Off Piste Posting (Any day thoughts) 10 Comments

Satirical Snapshots bringing you ‘Back in the Day!’

I’ve started to participate in Throwback Thursday on Instagram having come across a bunch of photos of when life was carefree, adventurous, and fun! As opposed to now where I’m TRAPPED, TRAPPED, and TRAPPED  in a mask-donned, corona-chaotic world with endless signs on how to and where I should stand and walk and so on. Not that it’s affecting me or anything…

So, what was going on there, Jules?

I’ve been asked numerous times to tell the story behind the picture I post every Thursday and where better to tell those stories than on my blog which I started for the sole purpose of telling stories of my high jinks and holidays!  

On Yer Trike!

This is a photograph of myself and my best friend on holiday in Lanzarote. We bought a cheap, last-minute deal where you didn’t know which hotel or resort you would end up in until you got there. But, we didn’t care! Having done this many times we knew that no matter where we ended up we’d make the best of it and manage to manipulate the situation to our advantage. 

Resorting to Chaos

As luck would have it, we ended up in a top star, luxury resort with a two bed, two bath apartment right in the middle of everything. We had never been in such a beautiful place and couldn’t believe our luck. Result!  However, not so much fun for the people who had paid top dollar to stay in this fabulous complex because this is what happened…

We came across this trike that was parked outside our apartment complex and found it hilarious. So much so that we decided to get on and play with it – posing for photos and suchlike. 

Then, in the midst of figuring out if we could hot-wire it and take it for a spin, the owner of the beloved trike came over and asked us what we thought we were doing because apparently, you shouldn’t just help yourself to somebody else’s pride and joy.  

Thankfully, he was a nice guy and let us off the fiddling with his toy and we got to have a go on his great, roaring, purple trike. He then introduced us to a bar where he and all his friends worked and we spent the rest of our holiday partying with the bar and all its staff.  Further stories of this particular holiday are to follow. 

Needless to say, every day our new gang of friends would roll up on their noisy trike and jeeps and come and hang out at our top-notch pool. They’d bring beers, loud music, and frivolity. Peace and quiet around the 5* pool ended violently. They even brought their Great Dane dog with them who also took a liking for a bit of a swim much to the outrage of the posh folk that had paid a fortune to be there. 

Obviously, my friend and I found it hilarious and couldn’t understand why the rest of the holidaymakers did not. That’s youth for ya. 

Repeat and Ruin the Rep

The poor holiday rep received numerous complaints about the rowdy, fun-loving youngsters that were disturbing their R&R and had to repeatedly visit us to tell us to stop having fun or he’d have to kick us out. 

We didn’t. And, he didn’t, because our new-found friends pretty much ran the island. 

By the end of the two-week holiday, he looked like a nervous wreck and couldn’t wait for us to leave. I think he went back to England shortly after that and got a job in an accountant’s office. 

Happy days. 

 

Haiku Poetry Day

April 17, 2020 10:51am Published by Jules Smith in Off Piste Posting (Any day thoughts) 36 Comments

Haiku Poetry Day

Satirical Snapshots bringing you a dose of Corona Corner!

Good morning isolators!  It’s pandemic playtime!  Today I bring you another task to lighten your day and bring amusement to you and your friends.

Corona Corner #9 – I’d like you to Haiku

Let’s see your best Haiku depicting how you are feeling at the moment or dealing with the current crisis we all find ourselves in.  Leave your overdue Haiku in the comments, please.  Winner will receive adoration from this blog for 24 hours.

I’ve written four below so you can at least do one.  I insist.  I demand.  I simply MUST see yours.

A haiku

a haiku

A haiku

a haiku

Awaiting your entries with wild anticipation…

 

A Letter From BoJo

April 9, 2020 12:38pm Published by Jules Smith in Off Piste Posting (Any day thoughts) 18 Comments

Satirical Snapshots Bringing You News From Number 10

It’s not very often I get a letter from Downing street so I thought I’d share this piece of history in the making.  From our Prime Minister, Boris Johnson.  May he fully recover and get back to the helm as soon as possible.

Letter from the boss

Well said, Boris!

Corona Corner #8

March 30, 2020 9:53am Published by Jules Smith in Off Piste Posting (Any day thoughts) 7 Comments

tree in the woods- close up of interesting bark shape and colour

Satirical Snapshots bringing you your daily dose of Corona Corner!

Good morning isolators!  It’s pandemic playtime!  Today I bring you another task to lighten your day and bring amusement to you and your friends.

Corona Corner #8 – Now and Den

During this isolation period I am allowed out once a day to exercise.  You’re not supposed to go too far, but fortunately for me, I live on the edge – yeah, I really do live on the edge…

of wonderful countryside and woods so my daily walk is the highlight of my day.  Getting out into the thick of it and being able to get lost amidst the trees is a tonic in these untonical times.

During these walks, I have often wondered if it might be an idea to construct a second home.  Who knows when the fury will hit you and it is better that you really are completely isolated so that you’re not a danger to the public.  Also, a place to have “Time Out” and get grounded is sure to benefit those around you and help you function as a sane and rational human being.

den made out of branches in the woods

Today’s task is to get outside and build a den for now and then.  Reach into your inner child and go for it!  If you are lucky like me and have your very own wolfdog, you can have him patrol the area from Den Thieves because as legend knows, the forest is full of ’em.

Potage Du Jour

Make a couple of these and take them with you as they will give you the energy to fight off scavengers and panic buyers who will see you as a sitting duck.

Have fun, get building and remember to…

#CurbYourFrustrationAndTaskInIsolation

 

Corona Corner #7

March 27, 2020 10:39am Published by Jules Smith in Off Piste Posting (Any day thoughts) 9 Comments

Satirical Snapshots bringing you your daily dose of Corona Corner!

Good morning isolators!  It’s pandemic playtime!  Today I bring you another task to lighten your day and bring amusement to you and your friends.

Corona Corner #7 – A touch of light reading

During this isolation period, I received a wonderful copy of the new Ladybird book from a friend.  There’s nothing like a touch of light reading to get through those dull moments and help us to escape to another world…

Click on the link below and have a laugh at this:

The Ladybird Book of COVID-19.pdf.pdf.pdf.pdf.pdf.pdf.pdf.pdf.pdf.pdf.pdf.pdf.pdf.pdf.pdf.pdf.pdf.pdf.pdf.pdf.pdf

Have a great weekend – the best way you can! No going to congregate at the seaside or parks! Get in your garden and do some weeding with a large gin and tonic, and remember to…

#CurbYourFrustrationAndTaskInIsolation

 

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