Genghis Khan And So Can I

April 12, 2019 8:52am Published by Jules Smith in Whimsy On A Wednesday 17 Comments

“Time Waits For No One”

It all started with Mongolia. And I don’t mean Genghis Khan.  

After watching “The Grand Tour”, which is one of my favourite programmes, the finalé had the trio building their own car and driving across the Gobi desert. I was awestruck by the stunning scenery in Mongolia: vast open skies, rugged beauty, more wild horses than people, and when there were people, they were living a simple life and seemingly unaffected by the modern world and all its vices. 

The itch was frantic.

I’ve sat still and not been anywhere for 6 whole months.  No wonder I’m fretting about losing my feet!  The answer to all my problems is to travel. I just can’t be in the same place for this long without insanity setting in. Mongolia cured my madness.

Unfortunately, holidays to Mongolia are fairly expensive and if you’re going to go there then you have to pull in China and then maybe a bit of a rest in Thailand before heading home. This makes it a lot more expensive. This is a trip that needs attention, time, and a bit of a lot of saving up. 

But you can’t have an idea like that and not sate it with something else. That’s just not fair. 

Fortuitously, Ryanair sent me an email about reduced plane prices and I took this as a sign to make a bold move out of Blighty and into unknown territory!  Time to conquer!

I sat myself down and decided I would not move until I had found some little place that had yet to make my acquaintance!

And here’s what happened:

Scandinavian Scandal

In May I am going to Copenhagen, Denmark. #CopenMAYgen

All great storytellers go here and maybe I will come back with renewed imagination and be able to reel off my own version of a Hans Christian Anderson fable.  Inspired by a Smørrebrød (basically a Ploughmans lunch) washed down with the local Carlsberg, how can I possibly fail?  They say it’s the happiest place on earth, which is a little bit presumptuous because they haven’t met me yet. 

Spaghetti Western

In June I am going to Genoa – Liguria, Italy. #Juneoa

The birthplace of the great explorer and colonist, Christopher Columbus. Inspired by this traveller I will be able to navigate the wonders of my future whilst nibbling on the famous focaccia and pesto, washed down with a glass of Cinque Terre whilst watching a sunset resting on the harbour waters. Ligurious!

Musical Mayhem

In July I am going to Vienna, Austria. #TheLastWaltz

Apparently, the Austrians are very precious about their sausages. But surprisingly, I’m after their cake and coffee.  It’s also the worlds number one city to live in and steeped in class and culture.  This will be the rounding off I need; the finishing school of trips before I return to the Motherland, renewed, refreshed and raring to go!

But now I’ve talked the talk, can I…

Walk The Walk

I went out for a celebration with a few of my friends t’other night and told them that I felt the need to book all these trips in case my feet dropped off. One of the posse is a GP and there’s no point having a doctor as a friend without abusing the situation.  After checking my bare feet at the dinner table (total class) he informed me that my pulse is exceptionally strong and I might just be OK. 

Time to get the ole bewwwts on! 



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That sounds like a delightful spring and summer travel schedule. It will bust out the cobwebs and will give you a sense of refreshment and renewal!

I knew you’d get it, LL! 🙂

Dear Judith Chalmers,
If you need an oik to carry your bags…

Well, I’m travelling light for a new experience, Masher! Carry on, hardly anything kinda deal. Never done that before so it will add to the experience. However, if I needed an oik, you’d be my favourite to call!

Oh, Vienna. Godfrey and I travel here occasionally when I need a good coffee. The city is wonderful, although I do feel as though they should limit the tourism as I struggle to enjoy myself around people in rucksacks.
I have never visited Copenhagen as brightly coloured houses irk me. Inform me if you are to find any areas I may enjoy more.
Genoa is Godfrey’s grandmothers birth place so we have visited there a lot. It is the only place on Earth where I break my no-carb diet. I can highly recommend the focaccia. If you see Alonzo please tell him I send my best.
Enjoy your travels, I’ll see you when I’m back from Pompeii.


Kitty! I heard you’d left Chelsea for a while!

Bright coloured houses irk you! Hahaha! Yes, no class. It’s just not Farrow and Ball, is it!
If you can’t break a no-carb diet in Italy, you shouldn’t be going. When one goes to Italy, they go for mouth orgasms.

Enjoy Pompeii! Another place on my travel list! Maybe in August! 🙂

I really recommend Mongolia. It’s beautiful. The Gobi desert can be tough going but it’s worth it.

I didn’t know you’d been there, Matt! I need to hear all about that trip because I definitely want to visit! 🙂

that Grand Tour car John is teaching me how to be in the bedroom. I lost my shoe once, had to walk on one shoe the rest of my life. Huawei is exactly like imagine if all of your Instagram Stories were blocked for copyright…

Disney tried to buy Hans Christian Andersen but he held up his dinglehopper at them.

McSmorrebrod, you know it’ll happen eventually…

can’t talk about Chris Columbus anymore…unless it’s the director. R.I.P. Robin Williams.

it was called The Last Waltz cos soon after Lisztomania took over

marry that doctor…you know what they say about doctors…actually I don’t know, all my doctors throw me into a padded cell where my cellmate is Trivago Guy. hang in there, Trivago Guy, we’re all pulling for you. I prayed hard this morning, my morning meditations this morning were all dedicated to you, Trivago Guy, that you may find a nice hospice for yourself that is not too expensive, a bargain by the bay when you consider it’s offseason and after having comparison-shopped with Amazon, Disney, and Trivago Girl *)

I think John can teach us all many things, my sweet! He’s a doer, our John. He gets the job done. Reliable. A plodder.

McSmørrebrød will confuse too many people. The queue outside WAITING for fast food already defies logic. Imagine if people had to ask for that with a large banana milkshake? They’d have to have McParamedics on site.

The doc is already married to one of my friends! I’m holding out for Trivago Guy if I can catch up with him! You can pray all you like, I’m gonna find him and I am taking over! *)

Stu and I went to Denmark a couple of years ago the main reason being Stu is 65% Danish according to a DNA test.
Loved Copenhagen a vibrant multi cultural city. One wet day we did the art gallery and museum well worth a visit.
We did a tour of the Baltic sea more our kind of thing than yours. I would say it is very expensive so take wads of cash.
I would love to go to Vienna the spy capital of Europe in the Cold War era. The architecture and music is the draw these days.
Have fun on your travels I look forward to reading your blog xx

Hey, Aunty Janet! Nice to see you here 🙂

Wow! I want to have that test done but I’m afraid of it saying 99% alien!
It looks lovely, but when I went to book a hotel there I realised it was super-duper expensive! I then read that a rum and coke is £9.00 !!! Bloody hellfire! And it’s supposed to be the happiest place on Earth! Gotta figure out what that secret is!

Oh, you know me, I’m up for anything!

I too have always wanted to go to Vienna. Such class and beauty.

I will, thank you, and rest assured I’m bound to have plenty to talk about. I attract drama! x

Ah yes, the “great” Khan. Stopped short of Texas?

Too many unicorns 😉

No Texas? I consider that a healthy development.

Maybe Texas, at some point. It’s more like a home away from home to me now. But, time for me to also start seeing places I haven’t yet been to. Cultural growth!

In some ways, Juju, I have come to despise the knowledge I have gained about travel in my profession. I have one of those jobs where I know who the bad guys are, what they are doing, why they are dangerous and what will happen to the stray soul that crosses their path. It has ruined travel for me. Not to mention the fact that I just can’t go to many of these places. I’ve been blessed to have gone up and down the European continent and visited where the world is “free”. But lord there are so many wonderful places to see in Truly dangerous locations on this planet.

Imagine standing on the Elbrus mountains that border the Caspian Sea and Iran and then being arrested for spying…because you were…there. There are so many places like that now where your intent is not nearly as significant as what others believe your intent to be. There is so much old and ancient to go see and revel in and yet…

I love ruins yanno. I want to go and experience the temples in Bagan in Myanmar. This place was built in 1050 or so and covers 16 square miles!

How about Hampi India where people still live among the rubble? It’s five hundred years old and has some of the most amazing extant structures.

Perhaps the king of these kinds of ruins is Angkor Wat in Cambodia. It’s almost a thousand years old and sits on 500 acres. At the top of its towers you can see a glorious sunsets forever.

Less well known is Sigiriya, Sri Lanka. It sits in the middle of the jungle and culminates on a giant rock. These ruins are 2500 years old. Or how about Polonnaruwa in the same country, it dates back 1000 years.

Another that comes to mind is Ayutthaya in Thailand. This ruin/city was founded in 1300 or so.

They are all amazing places that come with their own hidden dangers to travelers. Dont get me wrong, people go and people see them everyday. And people also disappear who are never heard of again except in some classified esoteric report on some bureaucrat’s desk.

But despite all that, if you, Juju, ever get to Mongolia, go see Karakorum (capital of the Mongol Empire) and the Erdene Zuu Monastery. You will be amazed and privileged above so many of us. And take pictures for your paranoid American spook.

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