How Do You Like Them Apples?

October 5, 2016 1:27pm Published by Jules Smith in Whimsy On A Wednesday 16 Comments


Satirical snapshots bringing you whimsy on a Wednesday from across the pond!

I’m in the garden in a state.

Wait, that’s not right…

I’m in New Jersey, The Garden State where I have been given the run of my friends lovely house and a fridge full of bacon and yummy fodder and am being beautifully looked after in the manner to which I have become accustomed.

Full points to Americans cos they know how to look after English princesses.

Next step…..New York City.

The American Mission

To take the Art Philosopher to the dodgiest art in the city. OK. Take me to these Chelsea Art Galleries and show me your worst….



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I’m being followed



Inspired by Nevada


Big John

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Trippy Man

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Bring out the clowns

Now this I get!  Pass my emergency clown nose!


I don’t understand.  How am I not a famous artist?  I can do this..


This is a weight bench made from Vaseline.  It’s in a cold storage unit to stop it melting.  Mental.


Get me a room with a view, quick sharp!


Roof top view from The Met



View of the city at the end of The High Line.  I loved this place. The High Line is a public park built on a historic freight rail line elevated above the streets on Manhattan’s West Side.  What a gem and fabulous idea.  As ideas go, this one knocks it out the park. (yeah…punny) Sitting here is like watching live telly.

Talking of Parks

Central Park



A rather knotty heart


Row, row, row the boat…Come on! Faster! Gosh, you can’t get the staff these days.  Actually, my rower had SKILLZ.. I basked in my boat and watched the turtles sunbathing.  Glorious.


Beep beep….BEEEEEEEEEP.  Cos that’s what I’d do.


New York is the best.  It’s so good that they named it twice.  I like it so much I am going to name it thrice which, as an English person I am fully allowed to do since we named it in the first place.

Thank you to my friends “J” and “M” for making my time here absolutely wonderful.  X

Anyway, must dash…cops are after me….



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Chelsea Galleries:
The “Met”:
…ahh The Park….
Among My Favourite Places…❤

Well, I wouldn’t want to let you down, TC!

Great places – Fabulous city. Loved it. I’ve been here three times but I need to come at least three hundred. Saving up for an apartment on 5th Avenue….:)

Excellent! Looks a fun trip.
Be careful.

It was. I’m fully shattered, Sol.

But of course. Careful is my middle name right alongside “RISK” 🙂

Hah, you’re stealing Mr Exile’s thunder by posting pictures from New York art galleries! Gosh, he’s going to be cross! And he lives in New Jersey too!

Are you going to meet some quirky characters in Times Square or wherever? I can sense a magnetic force pulling you in their direction. 🙂

I know. I love stealing. And making people cross. Button pusher, me 😉

I am not going to Times Square because every time I go I can never leave because it fully entices my monkey brain. Anyway, I’m off to Dallas for a junket for a few days. Yee – flippin haw.

I should sue. I will! I’ll SUE!

Oh yeah? I’m ready with my London City Solicitor and he’s hungry! It’s gonna cost you at least a fiver…

Paul Joseph Watson


EU orders British press NOT to reveal when terrorists are Muslims.

All terror attacks blamed on “mental illness”.
10:05 AM – 5 Oct 2016

We don’t listen to Belgians. We just eat their chocolate.

* the high line is also down my street…

* vaseline is essential in my early-morning workouts

* those are the type of cop cars that chased the Adam West Batman back in the day

i wanna go to Gotham so bad! that’s where my ancient Murican ancestors are from *)

Also known as the High Road, right?

That’s a proper police car that one. I saw Batman hiding in the back. I actually live near Gotham (this is true) and very near to Batman’s house (also very true) This is why I am actually the real Joker. *)

Allowing a genuine art philosopher into the Met…what are they thinking? The ‘stuff’ made of vaseline must have some sort of zen attached to it, but you haven’t revealed what that might be. I think that you’re holding back.

They were brave weren’t they, Larry?

Oh, I’m holding back alright, I don’t want to be getting barred just yet. Since zen is seeing things without distortion how can I possibly comment? However, were I to meditate on this I think that I’d likely come up with something like this: Mental.

Wait a minute. Are you telling me you went gallery hopping in Chelsea AND to the Met for the roof installation AND for a walk through Central Park AND a row out on Central Park lake AND a stroll on the Highline AND saw a film shoot on the Lower East Side? All in one day? It doesn’t seem possible.

And stopped at The Half King for a bacon and egg wrap and some other bar for margarita’s AND somewhere on the Lower East Side for Tapas. Resourceful aren’t I? 🙂

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