And This Is Why I Drive A Range Rover…

September 25, 2017 7:01pm Published by Jules Smith in Off Piste Posting (Any day thoughts) 16 Comments

Range Rover

Satirical Snapshots Bringing You Muppetry On A Monday…


Because life isn’t already hard enough, this kind of engineering and construction foresight waits to throw you a curveball.


One Way Street

Solution?  Jump the kerb, go through the hedgerow, and wave to the ‘jobsworth parking attendant Nazi’ through your rearview mirror whilst stepping the beast up to full revs and away before he has time to jot down your licence plate number.

Not.In.The.Mood. Loser.

That is all.


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Innit? 😉

Funny! Hope you don’t get a nasty ticket in the post, Jules!

I’ve had so many of those, Jane that I’m now on their Christmas card list.

Nah, he was too slow! Serves ’em right for putting such a stupid, one-way dead end there. Reversing wasn’t an option since it was some convoluted, winding road system and where would be the fun in that anyway? 🙂

The instruction is telling you to go ONE WAY so you should obey the law ….. However, that’s not your style, especially when faced with such muppetry is it?! 😉

I did go one-way mate, MY WAY! Heh! Totally not my style. Had you been there you’d have positively encouraged it ;P

That’s your car!? What a beaut. I picture you behind the wheel, gripping it tight in the 10-2 position. A punch. A lurch back into your seat. Bang. Zoom.

That is my she-devil, yes. Looks like a Stormtrooper, dunnit? You imagine well, M. Pretty spot on. 🙂

You know it does look a bit like a stormtrooper machine that they’d lower down from an Imperial Walker to take Darth and the boys on an inspection of some rough and unruly world – far, far away, on the other side of wherever. Would Darth Vader obey a speed sign or would he take note of some paint on the pavement?

Highly unlikely.

Now you have your marching/driving orders. And if the police have any comment, tell them you’re on a mission to pick up Darth Vader and the Evil Emperor. They’ll respect that.

See! I knew you’d get it, Larry!

Since I live in a rough and unruly world I think that is quite fitting and I shall tell the coppers that Larry said I can do as I please because I’m the High clown Priestess ;P

Imagine my police mug shot with a clown nose on! Ha!

Nice ride.

Car’s not bad either, is it? ;P

I hope you saw all the things that J”adore en Francais, Goatman. Like I promised 🙂

you made that pothole on the way out, huh?

the good news is in your haste you achieved such a speed that you took off. you are now the inventor of the flying car.


I made a new entrance/exit 🙂

I wish I did have a flying car. I’d love that, my sweet *)

I’m unable to assess the situation, as you failed to disclose what lay ahead for opting to go straight as the sign commanded.
I will say that is a fab car, with the obvious exception of the defective steering wheel.

Punctuality is a virtue of the bored. I’m having that made on a t-shirt for you, Terry ;P
Ahhh, the complexities of life, eh?
Well, allow me to enlighten you. Straight ahead, as per written command, were a line of concrete bollards about 4 ft high. So, being the genius I am I figured that a bit of hedgerow would see me out faster despite Landrovers claims that their cars can do anything bar fly!
And, just for the record, people in Japan make tons of cars – people in the UK are the best drivers – they both drive on the right side of the road which, incidentally, is the left.

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