Right, let’s have a chat about Karma. See I was always led to believe that if you are kind, considerate and thoughtful to others you will get good karma times ten of what you give out. Also if you are horrible, cruel and nasty bad karma will come back to you. Well clearly it works in reverse for me! I think I’m a pretty decent person who always does her best for everyone. I’m not hell on legs (ok, some may disagree) I’m not mean and I think I’m a positive, happy-go-lucky human being. Well all that’s about to change because yesterday SUCKED.
Lets take the picture posted as a starting point. Just look at that nasty black and yellow ticket (deliberately designed like this to instill fear into mankind) that was stuck to my car windscreen yesterday. I had gone out to meet a friend for lunch and came back to my car which was parked in a car park, way before my ticket expired. Unfortunately, as I had shut my car door the ticket must have blown over and was not clearly identifiable by the traffic warden. Rather than give me the benefit of the doubt the traffic warden decided to issue me with a £60.00 fine. Nice. Well that was the most expensive fish finger sandwich I’ve ever had for lunch. Now, I have a problem with traffic wardens. I cannot understand why anybody would want to do that for a living. It’s getting paid to bully people and extort money for no reason. I would rather be on the dole than be a traffic warden. Now if I had parked on a zig zag outside a school or was obstructing a road etc then fine give me a ticket but if I’m a few minutes late to a car park or if my ticket has accidentally moved try having a bit of HUMAN COMPASSION! Anyway, moving on. I next went to meet my friend to walk our dogs in the beautiful woodland and farmland nearby. On route I cricked my neck by braking severely trying not to run over the endless baby bunnies that were crossing the road. Once on the walk my dog, which is stupid, ripped open her side running through bracken and trees. Now this has happened several times before and the dog is currently at the vet being stitched up. I also am about to be stitched up to the tune of £350.00 worth of vet bill. Well that’s next weeks holiday money for Italy gone. Trust me – don’t have pets. On returning to my car I noticed that some evil, worthless, scumbag had keyed the side of my car. Thank God you weren’t doing it when I arrived with my big, bleeding, protective Doberman or you would have bitten. BY ME! See the way karma works the lowlife car scratcher and traffic warden are probably going to win this weeks lottery whilst I have to suffer the consequence of being a ‘nice’ person. Therefore today I have decided to be a hard nosed, bad-ass, self centered witch to see if I have a better day or not. To my friends I will remain a constant source of love, fun and amusement as I may be calling on you later to bail me out of jail!