October the Sixteenth is Light

October 16, 2015 5:06pm Published by Jules Smith in The Art Philosopher 10 Comments

October Dark and light: Inspired by the ‘two sentence’ horror stories I have decided to embark on a similar theme but mixing it up with one day of dark and menacing suggestion and the next of light and cheerful. Monday – Friday snippets from your Art Philosopher until All Hallows’ Eve is over…



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At first I thought that you might be cheating and the more I thought about it, the more clear it became that it really is a splendid idea.

Do you know what, Larry – I felt a bit the same. It is a bit of a cheat but then I thought…hmmm…you know what, it’s very me. It’s totally how I feel today and it is absolutely my kind of light (hence the neon light sign with such a welcoming word. Is anyone relating my photography I wonder or not?)

Thing is, I’m not in a bar, sadly as I have some evil virus that is making me feel like a wet Wednesday afternoon and a tenacious cough that makes the demon child in the exorcist look lame. I swear to God that I’ve broken ribs with my hacking. I sit here, in my onesey and slippers (after a super hot bath) with a pint of vitamin C drink. I’m not ruling out a hot toddy but it will be on my own with some banal TV to comatose me. But…back to the issue…
I’m gonna come clean (since I’m very well bathed) I’m finding this “light” part of my series very difficult. If I was challenged to write a happy story I really don’t think I could do it! I think I would die of narcolepsy. Two sentences is making me search the corners of my brain -and yes, my brain has corners- which is ridiculous. I keep thinking, “Oh that’s a bit lame…no, no, it’s all very insipid.” I find that I only like good if evil is involved in it somewhere and it triumphs; just writing “nice” is ever so difficult for a troubled soul such as I. Clearly, I have something very wrong with me. See, there’s grit, mystery, suspense and ambiguity to menace where light and beautiful is just…. well it’s just what it is.
Anyway, look at what I did there; I wrote you a whole blog post! Like you were saying, it is, in fact, a splendid idea for all BAR me :O

Codine (not chased with alcohol) fixes the cough just so sweetly. Opiates are our friends when taken for cause rather than for recreation.

Then there is the specter of suffocating to death as virulent mucus fills your lungs and All Hallows Eve approaches…. I think that the 17th is Dark.

It’s warm here. Beach weather. It’s always nicer when you can slog out to the jacuzzi in warm weather and get into an even warmer jacuzzi as the sun beats down on you and cures you. When I don’t feel well (and I’m fine now), I get into the jacuzzi naked. There are tall trees, shrubs and a fence around the swimming pool and jacuzzi, so nobody is there to peer (and why would they want to?). It feels better than wearing a swim suit. I leave the towel out and it’s toasty warm when I get out of the water.

I’m so jealous. I’d put a jacuzzi outside in my back garden but I’d freeze to death and old Mrs. Jones and her one legged dog would be most put out if I skinny dipped. I’d have the neighbourhood watch police round with burning torches!

So what you are saying is that I need an opiate tent pitched next to my jacuzzi whilst I wait for my psychopath and it should all end swimmingly?

Thank Goodness I’m Female
Thank Goddess I’m Female
The Glitch Is Fixed
The Grill Is Firing
The Grape Is Firm
The Giraffe Is Flying
The five-star General Is Frolicking
The Grease Is Fattening
The Grain malt Is Frothy
The Game Is aFoot *)

The Gin Is Flowing
The Grizzly Is Ferocious
The Gorgonzola Is Fetid
The Goblin Is Full
There’s Gladness In Friends
This Genius Ideology Fascinates
The Gloom Is Forthcoming
This Girl Is Fucked

‘I was working as a waitress in a cocktail bar
That much is true…’

Remember that song, Jules?

Amazon sent me a message: Jules’s book in on its way to you! How’s that for great news eh?

Don’t you want me baby?

Well about flipping time! I hope you like it and thank you for buying it:)

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