It has been brought to my attention of late that manners seem to be somewhat amiss.
Every morning I pull out of my drive onto a very busy through road. If I haven’t got out by the time I reach my patience threshold, which is around 2 minutes and 47 seconds, I inch out and basically stop the flow of traffic so I can make merry on my way. I am always mindful to be extremely thankful to the drivers either side of the road who have had no choice but to let me out.
Now as I travel onwards I always let other drivers out of side roads and when approaching traffic lights allow waiting motorists to go ahead of me so they can get to work. However, I have noticed that quite often, I am rarely thanked for my kindness. It is not the men who are guilty of this; they always thank you with a wave, a dazzle of their lights or even a very pretty flash dance of their hazards. Just for the record, I think that’s very nice. The people who don’t acknowledge me seem to be women. What’s that all about girls? How difficult is it to raise your hand in a simple gesture? Or break your staunch set, morning face into a smile? Ok, so maybe you’re having a bad day. Problem is, you’re now pissing me off and I want to overtake you and do an emergency stop. I know that’s terribly childish but see how you’ve created this viscous circle of pain?
I feel the only answer to this is for me to change my car for a tank. This kind of vehicle may be just what it takes to awaken your gratitude. And if you don’t thank me I can ‘Tank’ you by obliterating you from the road.
I am not referring to all women. Just the aforementioned thankless bints for whom I have two pieces of advice:
1: Go get laid.
2: But do not breed. Your children will have the manners of sewer rats.