Short post # 1. Tank You.

June 10, 2013 8:43am Published by Jules Smith in The Art Philosopher 25 Comments

It has been brought to my attention of late that manners seem to be somewhat amiss.

Every morning I pull out of my drive onto a very busy through road.  If I haven’t got out by the time I reach my patience threshold, which is around 2 minutes and 47 seconds, I inch out and basically stop the flow of traffic so I can make merry on my way.  I am always mindful to be extremely thankful to the drivers either side of the road who have had no choice but to let me out.   

Now as I travel onwards I always let other drivers out of side roads and when approaching traffic lights allow waiting motorists to go ahead of me so they can get to work.  However, I have noticed that quite often, I am rarely thanked for my kindness.  It is not the men who are guilty of this; they always thank you with a wave, a dazzle of their lights or even a very pretty flash dance of their hazards.  Just for the record, I think that’s very nice. The people who don’t acknowledge me seem to be women.  What’s that all about girls?  How difficult is it to raise your hand in a simple gesture?  Or break your staunch set, morning face into a smile?  Ok, so maybe you’re having a bad day. Problem is, you’re now pissing me off and I want to overtake you and do an emergency stop.  I know that’s terribly childish but see how you’ve created this viscous circle of pain?  

I feel the only answer to this is for me to change my car for a tank.  This kind of vehicle may be just what it takes to awaken your gratitude.  And if you don’t thank me I can ‘Tank’  you by obliterating you from the road.

I am not referring to all women. Just the aforementioned thankless bints for whom I have two pieces of advice:

1: Go get laid.
2: But do not breed.  Your children will have the manners of sewer rats.

25 Comments

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“1: Go get laid.”

THIS goes to the top of my List!!I was in Memphis, TN a few years ago… and recognized a fellow who I was able to identify as Jerry Lee Lewis leaving a Cadillac dealership. Traffic was horrendous so I stopped and waved him to go ahead and enter traffic…

The bastard flipped me off…

HAR!!!!

Keep on being your Nice self… one never errs by being nice.

Have a beautiful week.

~shoes~

Hello Shoes 🙂

Jerry Lee Lewis did that? Well goodness, gracious great balls of fire! Sorry…I had to. How rude.

I shall be nice even though I’m calling them names from my drivers seat 🙂

You too 🙂

Niceness goes a long way, eh? I try not to think about things that induce road rage, because I think I have the road-rage gene. (Yes, there is a genetic for lead-footedness and name calling.) So on that note, I LOVE people who let me into traffic or smile at me when I’m having a bad day. NICE PEOPLE ROCK!

Ah…You’re one of the nice ones Crystal. And why am I not surprised 🙂

It’s jealously, Jules. They see this sexy blond woman doing them a favour and it makes them feel frumpy and bitter. (Can I have my present now?)

Nice one Mr. GB. I’ve already sent it. Look for “Bob” on the east side of the park, 3rd bench in. He will be wearing a bowler hat and a nurses uniform and reading “How to win friends and influence people”. The duffle bag is yours. All in twenty’s and untraceable.

tank you, tank you, tank you…

…you should see where i am, there are tiny bubbles everywhere.

i love my Mom, but when she drives, she lets people go in front of her, everyone in the line, she literally won’t go until every single car has gone and it’s tumbleweeds left for her to turn. i lost a whole year of my adolescence because i was in a car with my mom, still have no idea who won Wimby that year.

don’t be so hard on sewer rats, a sewer rat taught the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

I love tiny bubbles! Like the ones in an aero chocolate bar!

I don’t let everyone out. I’m not that nice. But, you know, I do my fair share and LOOK HOW I GET REPAID!

LOL! Lost a whole year of adolescence!

Yes…good point!

Oh Gosh Julietta! I’ve often found British Drivers to be so polite – compared to the vermin that possess our roads. Y’know what they say…JHB Driver: Instant Idiot, Just Add Water… and really it’s like that. Let the rain begin and then see how everyone forgets how to drive. And oh gosh, let me not get started on our TAXI’S!! I have road rage almost every single day; so often that I even forget I get it. It’s become normal! Lord help us!

Well on the whole they are. On the whole. Driving wise. Stick to rules..ish and sensible driving until you hit the dual carriageway.

But theres always BAD APPLES innit.

I need one of those ginormous American cars.

Road rage for me is “Tsk”.
I don’t get angry at other drivers… no matter what they are doing. Yes, sometimes I’ll get frustrated or annoyed, but never angry. Can’t be bothered.

The current Mrs Masher, on the other hand, will shout, glare and gesture at other drivers… even when she’s sitting in the passenger seat!

God forbid she ever changes her Corsa for a Chieftain.

You’re so proper Masher. I’m proud of you. I am. Truly.

Maybe it’s just us women who are nasty….hmmm.

Good manners should not require a reward . . . yeah right! ibid, ibid, ibid

Ha! Yes that’s very true. I should do it without wanting acknowledgement and smile when they are rude. Be more giving and accepting. Kind and virtuous.

No. I’ve thought about it. I can’t. 😉

Hahahahahahahaha that’s so funny, Jules. Can you imagine going to work in a tank…. (Of course you can… You wrote this prime example of brilliance. Anyone who says women don’t have a sense of humor should stick their head in you tank. Front side, not back side…

What I think is going on here Jules is these women see your perfect hair, your perfect face, not to mention your fantastic (4) outfit, so they’re not amused. Could that be it? Do they need a make-over?

I can imagine going to work in a tank dressed in my lovely number 4 outfit that you donned me in. I think I’d feel like Miss Powerful and stop me if you DARE!

You’re so kind…are you wanting a present too just like Mr GB? 🙂 I have no more twentys left but I’m sure I can think of something 🙂

Hope you had a great birthday my “Superblue Grumpster” 🙂

GB… he’s such a charmer. No, I’m not waiting for a present, but my birthday was great. I felt like shit but my birthday was great. I just smiled and didn’t tell my guests. I wasn’t even wearing my superhero outfit so way to go Blue. I know. 😉

Talk to you soon, Miss Powerful

Yes, it would be nice to get a wave or two! It beats having a gun pointed at you through a window of another car! That’s what some teens in town were doing to scare people. They did it to me, but I figured it wasn’t real and just smiled. That’s what I do when I’m stunned – smile. I may as well have a smile on my face when I’m dead!

Good grief that’s horrific. What’s wrong with people? I feel the sudden urge to become a vigilante! Get the world in order!

I forgot to add – they were caught and the gun was not real.

I’d have whacked him round the head with it. If I weren’t so nice….;)

I miss your blog posts 🙂

Awww, thanks Keith! Well guess what? I’ve just made it up to you 😉

The only thing that’s worse than being ignored is being flipped off when you’re polite on the road. The British seem too polite for road rage (unless you’re a jihadi with a meat clever – that’s a different problem). In the US you can actually buy surplus armored Royal Army vehicles like the old one ton Humber armored cars or Ferrets, and drive them on the road. They’re not that expensive (though they are usually a maintenance problem and burn fuel at an un-godly rate). You need to look into that. I mean, if we can get them, so can you. I don’t think that we’re allowed to put machine guns on them, but that would get a LOT of respect at rush hour.

you, my friend, would never want to find yourself in the streets of Doha, driving.
crazy, reckless, senseless drivers.
i know what you mean. i’ve always comtemplated on getting myself a bulldozer so i could bulldoze through all the reckless drivers on our streets. i once suggested this to our police chief and he said “don’t ever attempt that. that’s criminal offense, no longer traffic”.
:p

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