Anyway, I’ve put the Gin down, as you can see above and gone straight in for the port. It’s time to cheer up and get with the NY programme. I went and put my pink wig on.
I always, ALWAYS wanted to have pink hair and now I can have it when I want. I wish I could have been Lady Gaga or Madonna so I could dress up and reinvent myself without someone rolling their eyes or taking the piss out of me; and getting paid so much money I wouldn’t give a toss anyway.
Next step was food. Not cooking and can’t drive. Oops. It’ll have to be a takeaway then. Chinese. They have New Years with dragons.
Here’s what I ordered:
Crispy shredded beef in peking sauce (Spiders legs – cos that’s what they look like to me, like the legs of a tarantula. Never say that to the server though. They don’t like it. I tried once. Not a laugh. Not even a hint of a smile.) Seaweed (one of your 5 a day) and rice.
That eaten and washed down with another port and it was time for the big moment….Drrrrrrrrrum roll please…
A fortune cookie! YAY! I mean what could possibly go wrong?
Brilliant. Just brilliant.
I am now donning my coat and off to see a witch for better news…