Tramping! You Heard It Here First!

May 29, 2019 12:13pm Published by Jules Smith in Whimsy On A Wednesday 24 Comments

Satirical Snapshots Bringing You Whimsy On A Wednesday!

You might think that my new vehicle is just a truck – but it’s not.  This isn’t just any kind of car, this is an experience!

After playing around with this beast of a vehicle for the last week I have found a whole new way to enjoy my outdoor pursuits. This isn’t just a nip around the block or drive from A to B, this is an outdoor orgasm on big fat wheels a brand new delight in personal adventure. 

And this is how it started…

After buying my big fat awesome pick-up truck because of a bike rack issue with my old car, I became fascinated with the truck bed and all of its room and possibilities. I went out for an ice cream and ate it in the middle of nowhere with my feet swinging under the tailgate, had a brain freeze epiphany, and realised I’d missed this kinda thing. I went back home and started looking online for truck accessories.

And I found this…

No more expensive hotels or skinny beds or dusty 4* cramped boxes on the 116th floor. No.  

FREEDOM. 

It isn’t camping.

It isn’t trucking.

It’s way too tough and rustic to be considered as glamping.

This, my friends, is what I have aptly named as “Tramping”

 

Zip And Kip

After putting this truck tent on order I went straight to the great big camping shop for ideas. 

“I’ve bought a tent for my truck,” I said. 

“What?” 

Pause. Eye roll. I showed them pictures.

“Ah.” 

“I need a bed to go underneath. Comfy. Bouncy. Jules proof.” 

“We have many. But, what size is the back of your truck – they might not fit…”

“DUH!  Well can you blow one up and go and see which one fits?! Spit-Spot, camping boy, I have adventures to have!”

I continued around the shop whilst this was being sorted out with another outdoorsy salesman and pointed things out. “Stove, yes, I need one of those.  Steps, definitely need those. And a torch. Oh look at that pretty little light! Get me two. Do you have a crossbow?”

Before it got way out of hand and me nearly buying awnings, a time share in motor homing, and a 7 tiered BBQ, I left the store with a bed, a cooker, gas bottles and accessories. 

“At least you’ll now know how to deal with this problem if someone else comes in wanting to do this,” I said as the outdoors staff waved me goodbye.

“I don’t think we’ll get much call for tents and beds in trucks,” the store manager smirked with a wink.

I dropped my purchases on the floor in disbelief.  

“You, sir, will eat your words. I am about to set a trend. TRAMPING is the new camping. You better step it up, sunshine.”  

The Tramp Test

Blessed with an exceptionally sunny weekend and not yet with truck tent, I decided to take a jaunt to a nearby country park for breakfast and practice tramping. I parked up on the field with a beautiful view of the forest. Within minutes the bed was blown up and adorned with cushions and blankets, my skillet was frying up breakfast on my new stove and I sipped on a nice cup of tea whilst staring out into the wilderness.  

Bed made.

Stove on.

Farm shop sausages burnt to perfection.

This much room for my post sausage digest…

And, an after feeding kip.

This is the future, my friends. I can’t even be made homeless anymore  because wherever I drive my truck, that’s my home. 

#Tramping – You Heard It Here First

24 Comments

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Juju,

You’ve done it! Once again juicy morsels of glorious inspiration flow from that fevered mind of yours! Tramping by god! It inspiring me and shaming me! I mean here I am for the last fifteen years with my big American Japanese built four door truck and a….naked truck bed! To think of the wonder under the stars I have lost and too the befuddling sleep of post whole-pig sausage links smorgasbord! I salute you! I am and will remain a truck owning Neanderthal!

You, Dino, make me feel wonderful! You should start up a self- esteem class! I’d be there thrice a day!

Now you have no excuse to get your tramp on! It’s the first step towards narrow boating! 😉

Well I have just wet myself reading about your “Tramping” experience!….You Jules are one crazy woman…lovely, kind,intelligent,glitzy,beautiful….but definitely crazy!!!
I will let you know when we are taking the caravan out again, and you my crazy girl can tag along “Tramping”

Luvs Ya xxxx

Hahaha! Good! That’s what I’m here for ~ to be the gift that keeps on giving! With crazy 😝
Yes, please! Let me know when and where and I’ll pitch up next door! A holiday to remember! 😄

You’re becoming more American every day. When you start putting ice in your tea, my work will be finished.

I’m more American than y’all are now!

Your work will never be done, Larry! It’s gonna take SERIOUS bribing to make me cave on that one!

What fun, I like your truck. Enjoy your ‘tramping’!

Thank you, Brig! I love it! 🙂

Well, that is definitely the way forward!
Inspired, I will be squeezing a king-size into the back of the Capri Ghia, this weekend.
Maybe.

Did you scoff ALL those sausages? No wonder you needed a lie down.

Right?
I’ve heard that you can get up to ALL sorts of shenanigans in a Capri! Bed or not!

I don’t do things by halves, Masher. 😉

it can all be moved outside to the bed of a truck to perform…the bed ‘n breakfast rehab program…

tramping is just glamping with a T. G for Gansta. like 2 Chainz. T for 2 Chainz. 2 Chainz and Awkwafina, don’t you just want to hang out with those two and paint the town red with them after that commercial?

mah dahlin it’s time to resuscitate that ’80s promotional program, it’s time for you to be the Millennial Joe Isuzu! you’ve got the chops!

burning meat is a fine art, you gotta do it just right to get that flavorful char edge to the sausage, too little and you’ve got raw dogs, too much and you’ve got black eggplants. burnt toast, now burnt toast is another matter, burnt toast is easy to do…

*)

I call it bed and breakfast too, my sweet! This is the ultimate- can’t book on Trivago – bed and breakfast!

I just want his yellow glasses.

I can be JuJu De’ranger! Haha! Love it!

I need a toaster… *)

I love everything about this post. Excellent trans from pricey Victoria Beckham Rover to cool, hardworking truck. Great tramping space off the bed and a patriotic BREXIT cushion to boot. Oh, and sausages cooked in heavy metal, result.
Next step? An auto skeet thrower off the bed and an elegant side by side. Wake up, eat some delicious sausage, scorn the appalling EU, then smoke some clays with the Purdy while shouting “TONY BLAIR DEMON EYES” and “THERESA MAY TRAITOR!”
Finish up the day by cancelling your BBC licence to shill and all’s well that ends well. Got any Veras? Well, maybe not in Swindon, but whatev.

I thought you might, LSP!

I bet Victoria is scorning me right now but, ‘nobody cares, Vicky B! You didn’t think of Tramping did you? – NO! FAIL’

I have a Brexit cushion and a Texit cushion. Pillow talk.

Ha! Yes, and elegant side-by-side. Then I can point it at the faux security man who is in charge of putting out BBQ’s like a fun sponge. *Jobsworth*

We now have “12 Angry Men” all vying for the iron throne. Britain has gone bonkers.

Tramping in Swindon! Now, you KNOW that would be hilarious!

My nephew has just bought a truck like that. I’ll show him the tramping way….

Yes! Get him on board! We need Tramping to take over! I might put it forward to the Green Party as an eco-friendly holiday example but then there’s the issue of the 3.2-litre truck…

I love it! You could be the new aged millenials version of Jack Kerouac. I look forward to your tales of Tramping in the USA / Big Sur / Badlands etc

Yes, Ian! I can take on that role – On The Road!

I shall not disappoint! X

Bloody perfect. No other words needed xxx

A girl after my own heart, Rebekah! I shall let you have a bounce at Deerstock! X

What a fabulous set-up ! I love the adventurer in you Julesy.
But you always make me feel so lazy 🙁
Best to check your surroundings again. I think you may be on the 7th tee.

Forever Your PPS,
~Terry

Wanna come, PPS? I reckon you’d be a brilliant tramper! ;P

It’s not a bloody golf course, it’s a National Park! Tch! ….FORE!

Luv Ya!

Bangers … served on a pick-up’s tailgate?! I call cultural appropriation. Just not too sure which culture has appropriated which!

If you wear a MAGA hat while behind the wheel of that rig, are you TRUMPING?

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