Where’s My Thing?

October 28, 2013 3:25pm Published by Jules Smith in The Art Philosopher 41 Comments

I’m sitting at my Mac having to write a list of random questions for company employees so I can write little bio’s on them and their personalities.  It’s interesting to see what people come back with as I’ve always considered myself a natural mentalist/ profiler.  I really should work for MI5, I can’t believe they have never poached me.

When I ask all these work based and personal questions, it always makes me think about my own answers. That kind of scares me. It’s very difficult to profile yourself and come up with anything positive.  I’m more inclined to consider packing my suitcase and checking in to the ‘personality disorder’ clinic.

I am constantly trying to find a way to set the world on fire and failing.  Where’s my genius? What’s the ‘thing’ inside me that has yet to be discovered and will I ever find it?  Do we all even have a certain something that is going to make a difference? Should I try EVERYTHING in order to locate it?  Maybe I should practise my soprano in the shower or I should have just bought a cello to see if I had the ability to create haunting sounds like no other.  I guess I will die trying, at least. I can’t seem to settle for mediocre.  In anything.  It’s too stultifying.

  When I’m a grey haired old lady, sitting in my rocking chair, sucking on pork chops and trifle, I want to look back at my life and think, “ Shit lady, you rocked this world.  You gave it your best shot and the results were INSPIRING!”

So why is this not happening?

Well, this leads me nicely to one of the questions on my list that I’ve been considering in the back of my monkey brain for most of the morning:

If you could give your younger self any advice what would you say? 

Here’s what I’d say to myself: 

Sit down smarty pants, me and thee are gonna have a bit of a chat.  Here, have a bacon sarnie and by the way, don’t listen to anyone that says bacon is fattening or leggings are flattering. Trust me on this one.

Pay attention, keep still and listen to this rip – roaring advice. For starters, giving something your all for 24 hours isn’t really long enough.   You can’t expect people to buy into you and what you do if you’re not prepared to keep on pushing.  You really can’t think “Oh fuck it” and move onto the next thing just because nobody else has instantly got it! Try and make a whole 8 hours a day doing ONE thing rather than flitting to several others.  Show some grit girl!
Though I would discourage the use of any addictive substances I think drugs may be an option for this element of your personality.

Stop listening to negative people.  LOSE them. Or hit them.  Whatever works. 

Find the things that make you happy and fill you with joy and stick to them.  The rest is just background noise.  Happiness, laughter and love are KEY.

Never lose your passion.  

Be confident in whatever you do no matter who tries to scupper it or demean it. The future you is remarkably confident when drunk – maybe answers really do lie in the bottom of a wine bottle…it’s worth exploring. 

Don’t let anyone else define you. You will read lots of meaningful, inspiring quotes like this in your lifetime and then forget them. I suggest you learn them off by heart.  You might make it to Dalai status. 

Now get out there and give it some dinner!

(Not holding my breath.) 

Now logic would suggest that surely I can still apply this piece of advice to my current self and get it together, right? 


And would my younger self have listened?  


 Seems I must continue in the search for my ever elusive genius. The cunning little escapist. 


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Really? I just tell myself not to marry that bitch… it will be the worst mistake of your life, oh and invest in Apple, Pixar, Mircosoft, Netflex and Google.

And this, Bathwater, is why I’m not a bloody genius….why didn’t I think of that?

On a side note – can you send me that link again please as it has ceased to be valid.

I watched Zero Dark Thirty **spoiler, sort of**

A young woman joined the CIA, I believe right out of college. Her one goal was to find Bin Laden. It took 12 years. She found him! I think the lesson in this is to decide on a goal and stick to it.

yes but…TWELVE YEARS… God…I’m lucky to manage twelve sodding minutes. You are, however, quite correct. Now the pain of picking a goal.

I thought that said, ‘picking a goat’…

No, that isn’t the pain… the pain is going to be sticking with that goal, once you determine what that goal is!



Yes, Shoes. That is the pain. stickability, resolve and tenacity. Now, where do I find those?

Mystery achievement.
Where’s my sandy beach?
I’ve got my dreams like everybody else
but they’re out of reach.

If you don’t give yourself an occasional pep talk, then who will? Careful about the bottom of the bottle. It’s a nice place to visit but you wouldn’t want to live there.

Mystery achievement. I know thee well. The Pretenders! (Yes I looked it up) Next step “Got brass, in pocket” hmmm..
I only visit it now and then as it gives me such incredible ideas and confidence I feel that my genius could POP any minute. Then I forget the next day and have to nurse my head, my aching guts and the reality seems so much darker.

I love this so much, I shared it on twitter! Other girls loved it too!

And yes, your younger self would definitely NOT have listened. Teenagers are so stubborn.

That’s proper nice of you Dee 🙂 Thank you. I’ve been twittered. How tweet.
Nope. I most definitely wouldn’t have listened. I would have rolled my eyes and thought “who’s this freak?” I never listened to anyone. Still don’t. There’s a lesson there somewhere..


last night, for the first time in 5 years, i had pork chops for dinner, pork chops with lemon. they were f****** good! wait, that’s it! that’s the key: pork chops! like…good things come to those who wait…something? i dunno, i guess the lesson in all of this is…just that pork chops are f****** good.

In wine there is truth! I fully agree. Do you know what, I’ve not had a good pork chop for a very long time. I lean more toward the BACON when it comes to swine food. I must get back on that f******* band wagon!

Well, Jules, maybe you’ve already got a lot of things. I would like to see you dance to salsa music, because I just know it has to be your thing. One of your things, I mean.

🙂 Mr GB you are a wise soul. Why I can shake it Shakira style and more! I can make twerking BORING. How have I not realised that this was the way forward…and back…and spin…and double spin… and cross body lead… excuse me… must shimmy off…

Ms Jellybobble… are you sure we aren’t related? It’s like you speak my language…

Finding my “thing” —> this right here is the crux of my existential crisis. Some days I feel like everyone knows something, some secret to life, and I’m the only one in the dark. *sigh*

I would tell my younger self not to have such high expectations and to relax… and most important of all, to be consistent and steadfast in everything I do 🙂

Love You Jules xxx

Azra… my long long sister 🙂 Of course we are..somehow.
I know what you mean. How come everybody seems to be happy -go- lucky and ok with their lot? What IS this secret we don’t know about? Or maybe you’re right; it’s our high expectations.:)
Love you more xxx

Awesome. Such excellent advice. I hope your younger self would listen, but if she didn’t, it would probably be because you’re pretty awesome with where you are. I think it’s difficult to see the impression we’ve left on our small corner of the world.

Still, you talk about things you can do going forward, and I just keep thinking of my littles. I can be the best darn mom I know how and contribute to a brighter future, not just for myself, but for everyone my kids will ever touch. One of the best pieces of advice I’ve ever heard is, “The perfect place to begin is exactly where you are right now.”

Thanks for the vote of confidence Crystal 🙂 x
I know you are a great Mum, you can tell the top dollar Mummy’s! That is a wonderful piece of advice and I shall begin right now. 🙂

Do you want MI-5 to approach you? I do have friends.

What would I tell my younger self? —- —- —- Don’t do anything differently.

YES!! Ha! Tell them I’m a natural and will be happy with a mere 7 figure salary!

Good advice L 🙂

The Brits are hopelessly CHEAP. I hate to break the news this way on a blog.

But wait, there is still hope! I have long suspected that you were born a member of the Royal Family and switched at birth anyway, so perhaps if you claimed your ‘birthright’, you’d end up with free bangers and mash for life? You could write your book and end up on the talk show circuit. From blogger to Dutchess. It would make good copy. You could go to Las Vegas, drink too many Singapore Slings, get naked in public, pick up a beefcake Hollywood star and get scandalized — before you release the book. (Look at it this way, it would be fun and would sell more books)

We are aren’t we. It’s because we are SO oppressed.:)
This explains why my blood is purple when it’s taken from me. I knew it. I think you should be a life coach LL, this is excellent advice. I can do this.

OR in the alternative you could sign on to the plot that I’m hatching with Azra on her blog to simply bug out and hang on the beach on a tropical island. Beachcombing, eating pineapple, bananas (and drinking too many Singapore Slings) while you watch the sun rise from and set into the blue, temperate ocean…

I’m there! That spells WIN to me!

Patience and determination are key to you finding your thing.

It took me a long time to find my own thing, but with perseverance and an open mind, I did eventually find it.

It had fallen down the back of the sofa.

I also found a pen, some peanuts and 50p.


I found a dodgy looking galaxy minstrel down there…is that it? 🙂

When I came up with that phrase (when having long talks with myself) I never thought it would be so difficult to define the particular thing or things I was good at. A portion of the problem is certainly that we self-sabotage our genius; we are always the worst critic, the least satisfied customer of our vision and output. Why is that? Is it that we are simply to critical of creativity? Are we laboring without adequate reference points to compare our productivity? Maybe it is in the nature of the artist to be destructive. Whatever the cause, we should cut ourselves a sprout and accept that we all have a genius for something.

You have long talks with yourself Dean? But..do you answer yourself? Because THIS is the sign of true madness. I’m in that gang, it’s pretty cool.
Yes, self sabotage…sigh.. I am most excellent at this thing. Maybe thats it! Self sabotage is my thing! Way to go…

This is sobering and thought provoking to read Juliette – mainly because I have come to the alarming conclusion you are me in disguise – sorta

Well what can I say… EXCEPT YOU MUST BE EPIC. How’re ya doin’, kindred 😛

That’s excellent advice about the leggings, girl. Had to Tweet that one to the world.

I think the advice I’d give my younger self is: Yes, do things are they’re done, pay your dues, but don’t lose too much time waiting for others to validate you – in other words, if folks aren’t supporting your genius, strike out on your own.

As to *finding* one’s genius: well, I follow that which strongly draws me (which is a short list of stuff). (Possibly because I’m lazy.) (Yeah, probably that.) If you’re not sure what this is, I reckon you’ve gotta dabble and mess around and whatnot. Do one of them career/personality assessment whatses.
Check Out Mina’s Resurrection Blogfest II!

Thank you Mina! I’m all twittery about this. Yeah.. I’m right on the leggings. Biggest fashion faux pas EVER apart from crocs and nylon bodywarmers. For the love of God.
I did one of those things in the past and I either get “You are not suitable for any profession” or something totally against my nature. I think I’ll go with your “Mess around and whatnot” seems that works for me ;P

Try another one of them things, then.. When I do them, they always point me to writing and music. Or nursing. (Blerch.) Or counseling – which I would do if I didn’t fall to pieces the moment I see a person crying. 😀

“If you could give your younger self any advice what would you say?”

I was honored and was fortunate enough to have received the ‘Outstanding Professor of the Year’ award at the institution where I am employed. The down side to this distinction is that I had the give the commencement address at the next graduation ceremony.

I fretted and worried so over what message I would give the new graduates. Since the world was in almost the same exact place where it was when I graduated college, this was the theme of my talk…and I think it was well received.

EVERYTHING you said above it SO on target!!!!

Now, go out there and do it, Ms Jules!!!!


Shoes…Since you received ‘Outstanding Professor of the Year’ award I’m going to listen to every goddam thing you say from this point onwards 🙂

Hello from your 100th follower (do I get a prize for that?). I would have told myself not to start smoking I think. Loved this post and looking forward to reading more

Well hello ‘Just A Dog Walker’ – my new, special 100th follower! Yes, I think that definitely warrants a prize. So what do you want ? A packet of pickled onion monster munch or a bowl of trifle? 🙂

My advice to myself would be to plant a tree in the yard so’s I could walk out and see if I did it.

Yea, Yea there it is . . . I did did it!
A bald cypress, , , name’s “Mike”.

HA! I like that goatman 🙂

Just stopping by to say hi. I wish I could read your posts, Jules. 🙁 Soon, right?

Yes Randy, soon 🙂 sending you tons and tons of get better vibes. You are missed by us all x

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