Between the Bakery and the Black Hole

Whimsy on a Wednesday bringing you proofing dough whilst questioning reality

Photo by Jens Meyers on Unsplash

I’m so tired. I am not sleeping properly because I’ve been watching and reading about unusual things. Also, I get excited about the possibility of what could happen; I don’t have dreams, I have wild adventures. It’s difficult being imaginative and totally paranoid all at the same time.

It all Started With Bread

I decided that I wanted all my staple foods to be organic so that I wasn’t eating a load of crap like fillers and stabilisers and a whole list other horrible stuff. Turns out there’s a bread map. The means you can now find the best dough wherever you are. Once I’d got that nailed, it followed with eggs, tea, milk, and dairy. I have been eating like this for a month and its made a significant difference to how I feel.

Poor.

Since the great corporates have been lying about ‘what’s good for you’ for a long time, I put on my tin hat and went on a fishing expedition to find out what and who else had been pulling my plonker.

This is why social media should be banned. Or, people like me should be banned from it. You can’t rely on age limits. No. There needs to be mental assessments.

The Final Countdown

I found myself down a rabbit hole with a bloke called Avi Loeb, after looking into ancient Sumerian text and the 12 Anunnaki. I say bloke, but Avi is a theoretical physicist working on astrophysics and is a junior professor at Harvard University. Now Avi is very entertaining to watch. This is a man who has an incredible passion for his work. He is constantly smiling and sitting with ants in his pants, particularly at his latest obsession, the comet 3I/ATLAS. Not a comet, according to Avi despite what NASA say. Those gatekeepers are just trying to keep you from the truth.

You see, according to Avi, this thing has several anomalies. I believe he has counted 14. There are 3 continual jets arranged at precisely 120 degrees between them around this object, and those jets should now have stopped because if the surface of the comet is ice, it is now harder than concrete because the temperature around it is substantially lower than freezing. It is emitting gasses that comets don’t normally emit, including the basic building blocks for the DNA molecule. Interesting…It has changed trajectory and speed and looks like its ploughing towards Jupiter to recharge its batteries and send a message home.

This is not a comet it is an artificial artefact. We can’t say manmade because Spock might object.

Yes, readers, this could be the Starship Enterprise!

So, the good news is that everything else going on in the world won’t matter when we get invaded by aliens. You have seven days to find something hard to bite down on or try and make sense of it yourself, right here.

I Found a Connection

Following on from this, I heard about a film on Prime called ‘Age of Disclosure’ about aliens and UFO’s and all sorts of malarkey, like them showing up at military bases and turning nuclear warheads on and off for a laugh. I went and had a look at that. One thing led to another and I found myself practising the art of telepathy to connect to the unknown, even though if something showed up in my back garden I would be hysterical. I’d rather have a chat with an alien down at the pub where I could drink it under the table if I needed to escape.

I continued down the rabbit hole and saw an ad for a show called ‘Evil’ and remembered that I’d wanted to watch that ages ago and forgotten. The name should have been a clue but I liked the the premise of the show where an atheist psychologist and a priest end up working together to solve mysteries. However, it is sometimes horribly scary and this is adding to my sleep problem. I figured it was time to jump out of my extra terrestrial obsession and maybe check out what was in the mother of my sourdough.

The Exorcism (putting a child lock on YouTube)

Thankfully, I had a lovely trip to West Sussex planned to visit my godparents which took me out of my mad little mind for a while. Although when it came to go to dinner and I dressed up in my beautiful black shimmery top and palazzo trousers, I found the black boots I had packed were both different. Entirely different. One was suede and one was leather for a start and the heel difference was at least three inches. I couldn’t have got away with it if I wanted to, but that wasn’t the worst part. They were both for the same foot.

“Lord above, I’m turning into my mother.”

This is the devil at work. This is what lack of sleep, mental obsession, dodgy milk, and forgetting to take your vitamin D does to you. When I got back home I took the wolfits for big, long romp in the woods. Nothing like nature to clear your head and balance the old system. I listened to the birds chirping and breathed in the beautiful smell of the forest ground. Petrichor, I think its called. Of course I looked it up.

That smell in the woods? It’s called decay. You basically like the smell of death. And, birds might not be joyfully singing, they could be screeching in terror and sending out warning alarms. Ever considered that?

Bloody hell! There’s always someone to piss on your chips, isn’t there?