I Smell Bulls….

March 21, 2018 8:33pm Published by Jules Smith in Whimsy On A Wednesday 19 Comments

Rodeo Houston Banner Advert

Satirical Snapshots Bringing You Whimsy On A Wednesday!

I woke up this morning with a dreadful head cold. I felt so poorly that I promptly went back to bed.

You might wonder how one can catch a cold in Texas where the sun burns down ferociously but then it depends where you’ve been playing, doesn’t it?

Bare Back Riding

That could be a possibility, except it wasn’t me.

Houston Rodeo Arena

I went to the Houston Rodeo and watched macho males bucking on horses and bulls. Such insanity but excellent fun!

Bull rider at Houston Rodeo

When attending any public event, you are at risk of catching germs. Maybe it was here that I caught my wretched cold?

Int’l Texas Cowboy Church

I went to Cowboy Church (best church on this planet full stop). I drove up to see my name in lights!

Cowboy Church Events board

Perhaps I caught my cold here since this is the place where I get my years supply of hugs. Nah, there’s too much love and purity in this place for sickness to thrive.

And then it dawned on me.

The Dream Condo

That’s how it was advertised as I searched endlessly for somewhere to stay. Like the idiot I am, I left it until the eleventh hour to book a pad. On Rodeo week. DUH. All my hotspot Airbnb’s had been booked up so I ended up on some random site on the internet where I found a vacancy at “Dream Condo.” Imagine my surprise!

This gaff was situated exactly where I wanted to be, it said. So with glee, I booked it.

When I eventually found it several miles from where it promised it was, I learned that the elevator was broken. This is particularly useful when you have several heavy bags to carry.

Still, it’s a dream condo. The advert said so. Once inside it will be awesome!

I opened the door and was immediately greeted with this:

Large white couch in apartment

“Pimp it up swag.”

WOW. I can have a minimum of 25 people dossing on that couch to eat popcorn and watch a movie!


In order to watch a film, a TV is needed. In its place instead was a gigantic picture.

Picture in condo

Not only is this the only “Dream Condo” without a television but also the only abode in America. How ridiculous! I’ve still got to see what happens to Bill and Ben and now I’ll never know!

And then I spotted this sacrificial Voodoo…

Animal skull in apartment

Is that the last tenant?

However, la piece de resistance was yet to be unveiled.

I opened the door to my bedroom…

I froze on the spot.

I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.

I looked around to make sure I wasn’t on camera.

Imagine, if you will, what the premier suite of Motel 6 might look like.

And….Voila! The boudoir!

Round bed in apartment
Can’t think where I caught my sinful germs from, can you?

Bill, Ben and Razor Sharp Flexi Men.

March 13, 2018 11:07pm Published by Jules Smith in Whimsy On A Wednesday 19 Comments

Movie meme

Satirical Snapshots Bringing You Whimsy On A Wednesday!

I’ve been watching a film for days. I can’t remember what it’s called or what happened in the beginning; I’m also pretty much lost as to what went on in the middle. I could have sworn that the main character’s name was Bill but it turns out it’s Ben. However, since I’ve had the odd margarita, grown an inch of hair and aged considerably since then, forgetfulness is to be expected.

See, I started this movie when I arrived in America last week and due to the INSANE amount of commercials, it’s still on. I mean credit where it’s due, you certainly get value for money. Who knows, maybe the TV company are on a pigs back and just keep rolling this film out on a loop because it will take weeks before anyone figures out what the hell is going on.

Talking of value for money…

However, I have learnt something much more valuable than whether or not Bill or Ben make it out alive and get the girl. It has come to my attention, mostly because I have been browbeaten by it after every ten seconds of Bill and Ben’s adventure, that everything in America costs $19.99.

cost advert

The first thing you need to buy is the youthful hormone drug. Starting here is key because you can live long enough to try out all the fabulous things that are on offer for the fascinating, one-time offer price of $19.99. There is a slight chance you might die of the many side effects but there’s no risk without reward and you will be transformed into a super-gadget-maestro within days.

Unless you shave….

Whilst you can have the best double-edged razors for the rest of your life for only $19.99, there’s a pay off and you might want to grow a beard instead. The man selling them insists they are the sharpest thing you will come across; unfortunately, he is not and if he ever had any razor-sharp wit, he clearly rinsed it away with his bristles. Evidence would suggest that shaving with these razors scrapes away all of your personality and leaves you as dull as dishwater. Don’t get me wrong, the guy is a silver fox with a very young face and has obviously been popping the youth pills, but I’d prefer it if he cut his tongue out. Maybe I’m being harsh here and it’s nothing to do with his razors and he’s actually been watching the same film as me and lost the will to live.

Talking of sharp…

The next on the list is the double-action knife sharpener. There seems to be a “double action” theme amongst all these products that you can buy for the amazing price of just $19.99 but not the sort you might be craving. Anyway, this knife sharpener is the biz-nizz. Not only can it sharpen any given knife, it can also sharpen your credit card and slice right through a juicy tomato. Well, I was blown away by that.

Just imagine, if you could just humour me for a moment, that you lost every knife in your kitchen…it could happen… Shrug your shoulders, fish out your wallet, slip out the old Visa, give it a quick swipe through the double-edged sharpener and hey presto, you’ve got yourself a lethal weapon. Personally, I think this should be marketed differently and they should think outside the box. You could sell this gadget for double the price if you marketed to guys with the strapline, “Next time your misses takes off with your credit card, the bitch will lose her fingers!’

Talking of marketing…

There's more advert

The amazing products for sale at the spectacular price of only $19.99 come with so much more! Not only do you get one but you GET ANOTHER ONE FREE! Not to be pedantic or anything but since these are sold as “lifelong lasting products or your money back” why do you need two?

Did I mention the FREE SHIPPING? No? I’m sorry, I was mesmerised by the best bang for your buck – and no, I haven’t skipped TV channels though it would be interesting to see how long an orgasm can last on American TV.  As tempted as I am, I can’t leave Bill and Ben hanging now we’ve gone this far. I’m sorely tempted to buy them the pills with FREE SHIPPING to see if they EVER get there and Bill or Ben don’t die before the film ends.

Talking of my favourite people …

All holes filled

Phil Swift isn’t one of them. Under normal circumstances, I might get along with this guy if he was being quieter and sitting at a bar with something more interesting to say. Phil, let me get something straight: I DON’T CARE how good your bloody Flexi Tape is, how ridiculously you enthuse about it, or that I can get it for the one time amazing price of $19.99 with an extra bottle of Flexi Foam thrown in for free, with FREE SHIPPING and a free trip to Bali with bells on.


No, Phil. I’ve had enough and the only thing I want to do with your Flexi Tape is stick it right over your preaching, whiney, irritating gob.

OK. I feel better now. Must go, I have a film to finish.

Boot JuJu

February 27, 2018 12:02am Published by Jules Smith in Whimsy On A Wednesday 33 Comments

Girl in Boot JuJu near tree

Satirical Snapshots Bringing You Whimsy On A Wednesday But Mostly A Right Booted Kick Into The World Of JuJu!

Today I am shamelessly promoting a new venture I’ve started because there’s no point doing something unless you SHOUT IT FROM THE HILLTOPS!

It’s very hilly here in the blogosphere.

And what do you need to climb hills?

Good footwear, that’s what.


Girl with boot on fence in Boot JuJu

We all know that I am ‘Queen of Boots’. This is a worldwide known fact. I think there should be a Wikipedia entry on this, to be honest.

Now there are boots and there are bewwwts. Everywhere I go in mine I am always stopped several times and told, “I love your boots!” and “Where did you get them?”

“Well, I got them from Schuh or Boot Barn or Pinto Ranch or Office or Lucchese or even Tractor Supply….”

This is what I say along with a thank you and a very dramatic hair flick.

Then eventually, the penny dropped. Took a while…

Boot JuJu

Girl in boots wearing vintage bad JuJu boot straps

See, it’s not my boots that they like but the magical JuJu I adorn them with that turns them into a walking work of art. JuJu that has girls salivating with boot envy and guys winking at the…I dunno, whatever goes through guys minds when it comes to girls boots.

How do you think I got on a policeman’s bike in Colorado?

If I can’t wear my Boot JuJu, I ain’t going!

This is how passionate I am about my bewwwts. Now I’ve seen some boot accessories over in America and in the UK but it’s very limited and not to my taste: It’s either too flimsy and breaks in five minutes, or it’s too heavy with chains and makes you look like Butch McButch. Not good. So, I started making my own durable and yet beautiful feminine boot JuJu which is how this venture came about.

I have spent the last few months designing, creating and bleeding into leather. I have sourced vintage materials, embellishments and teamed up with a manner of professionals for advice. I have cut myself, chipped and broken my nails and screamed my head off in frustration and started over. I have whittled down my designs, tried and tested them, and despite no sleep and food that comes out of a packet, I have made it through to the beautiful, bitter end. Well, I guess it’s really now the beginning, but here we have it.

For Boots That Talk The Walk

The .45 Boot JuJu Double strap

Let your eyes feast on my new and stunning online store below and marvel at the Boot JuJu on offer. Please spread the word to every female you know: share my site, my FB page, Instagram and Youtube channel so that they too can have some sass in their step!

Website – Boot JuJu – For boots that talk the walk

JuJu x

Want more?

Load another!