So, I was sitting down the other day having a nice cup of tea and a tuna crunch roll when I was told an odd thing.
“Did you know your umbrella choice is said to say a lot about you.”
I pondered this for a minute, and because I was mid bite and the combination of sweet red onion and tuna was particularly pleasant, I wanted to savour the moment. Why is it that people always talk to you right in the middle of a chow down? Part of me wants to spit it out in a deliberate fury and say “Go forth and multiply you heinous creature, can you not see that I’m eating?” But I don’t.
And I didn’t because I like the person.
I found this particular piece of information wonderfully whimsical and somewhat insightful. Why is it that my umbrella says a lot about me and not my coat or my choice of car? Are these too obvious? Am I lead by the fashionistas and lacking in free will when I choose these staple items? Is it that the umbrella is a little more personal?
Who is it that decides that my umbrella choice reveals anything about me whatsoever? And please, may this particular doctor of soft science step forward and explain themselves.
The carrot had dangled too long. I was halfway down my lunch and felt ready to participate.
“You have seen my umbrella, right? “
“Yes, that’s why I wanted to tell you.”
So what does this say about me?
What do you reckon, reader? Does this say that I am the fantastic sunshine in a rain storm? Or, does it say that I have not developed mentally past 5 years old?
And here’s the one I bought on holiday.
Again, am I the rainbow in the grey or am I a kaleidoscopic hot mess?
“Anyway,” I said. “What’s your umbrella like?
“Dark and broken.”
“Blimey, they might be onto something…”
The Gentlemen
I have been watching the second season of The Gentlemen by Guy Ritchie and apart from it being very good, I noticed something absolutely astonishing.
Let’s take a look at the character, Eddie the Duke, shall we? Here he is on my telly sporting a rather handsome face and a set of normal sized ears.
And here is the character called Nanny Assante, who has the tiniest ears I have ever seen in my life.
He makes everybody else’s ears look too large, protruding, and ugly. I wonder if he knows what chaos he might cause in the ear department of life? Viewers, particularly with money yearning aristocratic status, will be wanting the next best feature: the delicate ear. The most sought after, must have procedure for those with ear envy.
Anyway, I looked him up and found he’s a poet /songwriter/musician with an interesting backstory. There’s always something curious and different about people with magical talent, isn’t there?
I wonder of his umbrella choice.
Maybe we should look at our umbrellas like pieces of art.
Talking of which, I saw this rather remarkable piece on the side of a building the other day.
Not great for the superstitious inhabitants of the flats opposite or is that what we call exposure therapy?
And on that note, I shall be leaving you with the long lost forgotten art of Tex the wolfit who has been drawn before in many outfits - he’s back as a cowboy. I can’t believe I never had him in that giddy-up, get-up on the first run!
What do my umbrellas say about me? No idea.
1) A simple manual open, solid black. Also doubles as my souvenir from my R&R trip to London in 1976 while stationed in West Germany. If anyone asks (rarely) I tell them it's my "Triple B", British Black Brolly. It now hangs retired in my closest.
2) A slightly smaller compact, non-collapsible with push-button open, solid forest green. I inherited it from my late father.
3) Large size, manual open, again solid black. I too prefer this size, although one must be mindful of stiff breezes. Purchased some years back at Walmart, so you can guess where it was made. Here in Texas, it has also proven most useful for shade, sitting field side watching our five year old grandson play soccer. The hold open latch has become unreliable, so I will be shopping for a replacement, hopefully in solid green or blue.
My Mary Poppins aversion means I don't do umbrellas.
Ears continue to get bigger as we age (thanks to gravity), which makes me feel sorry for Alexander Armstrong, who already sports an impressive pair of flappers. Judging from that picture though, Nanny Assante may need to get a telegram from the King before his ears reach normal size.