Christmas Sign Off

December 21, 2016 5:40pm Published by Jules Smith in Satirical Snapshots 31 Comments

Satirical snapshots bringing you whimsy on a wednesday.

Word up

I’m part of a collective that share word of the day with each other in order that we can all become walking, spouting lexicons.
It doesn’t really work very well for me being a down to earth kind of girl who tells it how it is and finds layman terms gets better results, however, I play along as resident wordsmith.

The word the other day was ‘Daedal’

The object of the word group is to then put said word into a sentence or two proving to the rest of the group that you fully comprehend its meaning.  Whatevs.

One of the group members chose to call me that day using the word daedal in an outrageous display of boastfulness.

“You’re pronouncing it incorrectly,” I said.

“No I’m not, actually.

“ OK.”

So, later that day when I knew they’d have been fully over using it in public I sent the person a YouTube video of the correct pronunciation. Like I’d told them. This was the response.


Well, how ungrateful. My apologies for having an extensive vocabulary that clearly supersedes yours. I understand how you must covet the daedal workings of my superior mind.

Smart arses don’t wash with me (unless it’s me being one) as my friend Masher will testify here. Lest we forget.

Talking of men and their games

Breaking news guys. MAN FLU IS REAL.

This means you can fully get out of your Christmas shopping and other things you don’t want to do because your sniffly little cold is truly, seriously debilitating. You may show this evidence to your other half and know that you will still get no sympathy whatsoever.

But, there is an answer.

Unless your other half is in fact a doctor and she’s had it up to here with your whingeing. Then she’ll be able to kill you and get away with it by citing a crime passionnel.

On the subject of French

Je m’appelle Juliette. But this girl on Facebook is called Gemma.

I have spent days and days sniggering at this. Because. I’m. A. Child.


On other European news

What can I say? Christmas markets are off the agenda. My heartfelt sympathy goes out to those and their families in Berlin who lost their lives or were injured in this recent attack.

I got this card from someone the other day.


I’ve forwarded it to Angela Merkel. I hope she likes it.

Tidings of comfort and joy

See you all next week when it’s all done and dusted! I’m still collecting for the AM fund so please feel free to open your hearts and give generously. Sharing is caring.

I wish each and every reader and friend out there a very Merry Christmas and hope it is filled with love, happiness and peace along with a dollop of glee and a large slice of joy.

JS x

31 Comments

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Merry Christmas Jules🎄⛄️❄️ And have a Happy New Year🥂🎉❗❤️🙏🏻

A very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you and yours Janet! <3 I hope you are filled with happiness and surrounded by love. Give everyone at Int'l Cowboy Church a big, tight and super long hug from me. X

Hi Jules,

Greeting from the Colonies.

Have a wonderful Christmas Holiday and a smooth ride into the new year. 2017 looks to be a promising one as a new dawn approaches. I haven’t been this optimistic in a very long time. Here’s hoping a semblance of sanity returns to the world, if only a little bit.

Thanks for your visits to ‘Nox & Friends. Your wit is always appreciated.

Hello Hardnox! Thanks for coming to play!

And thank you for appreciating my humour – that proves you are a gent with impeccable taste; being appreciated is a good thing.
I am honoured to be part of your cool group of pals at ‘Nox & Friends.
Let’s raise a toast to a shining new dawn! Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to you and yours.

Over the river and thru the woods ♪♫♫ (hope granny is there — else party, party).

Hey, Goatman!

I love that poem! Let’s hope Granny is out!

Wishing you and your family a very Merry Christmas!

congrats!weols pun suka sgt xtvt2 outdoor camni…teringat zaman2 sekolah dulu…weols ni presiden renjer puteri katanye….rindu lak rasa nak bercamping!woohoo..

Chào Linh, chị có liên hệ với em để hướng dẫn cách thức nhận giải nhưng em không nghe máy. Em check mail và làm theo hướng dẫn của chị nhé. Cảm ơn em.

Gemma. Hahahahahahahaha!! It’s been on my mind, such as it is, too…

NICE CARD.

I know, right?! Gemma! Hahahahahahahahahahaha.

Thanks, LSP, and…. wishing you and the Dallas crew a fabulous Christmas and a Happy New Year! 🙂

Got any vera’s?

Thanks a bunch, Jules, you rotten cow! I’d almost managed to forget that!
Almost.
Anyhoo, I hope you have a smashing Christmas and a fantabulous New Year!
xx

Hahahaha! You’re welcome, Masher. I’ll never let you forget!

Happy Christmas and a joyous New Year, petal. Make sure you buy the current Mrs. Masher just what she wants or I’m sending her a whip!

Merry Christmas!

And a Merry Christmas to you too, Larry and a Happy New Year! 🙂

Should we find Gemma Pell a French boyfriend, Jules? My instinct tells me it’s possible for a Frenchman to fall in love with a name. She should still cut her fringe and put on some make-up, of course. Make the most of what you’ve got, as we say in the jungle.

You’re less likely to die if your doctor is a woman because women have cooler fingers than men. This is a fact – look it up if you don’t believe me!

I know you’ll have a merry one, Jules. How could you not?

Yes, Mr. Gorilla Bananas. I know enough French boys! Ha! Maybe I need to take her to a French party? It takes seven years to get through the door just saying hello. Think of the fun she’d have! Oh how I’d laugh…

They do? Icy fingers? I am going to look that up because you haven’t told me why…. Freezing Falanges.

I will do my best and the very same to you, most loyal and gracious gorilla! Have an absolute blast. 🙂

My Subaru got cracked up and I’ve spent the last three days car shopping. None of the models I’m considering look ANYTHING like what you’ve posted above. I’d like a nice midlife crisis set a wheels and a Japanese girlfriend half my age named Yum Yum but something tells me I’m going to end up with a Toyota and falling asleep in front of the TV. Such is life.

Merry Christmas, dear. Nice to meet ‘cha.

You never know, M, there might be a Japanese 23 year old driving round the streets of NYC right now looking for a guy having a midlife crisis. Things like this DO happen.

Merry Christmas to you too and back atcha kiddo! 🙂

Wait a minute… my doctor’s a guy. So now I’m gonna die…. (notice the excellent rhyme) sooner? I knew it!

Gemma Pell… That’s so great. Good thing I can be Randy day and night, night and day without any French citizen knowing what the hell’s so funny about that.

All I can say is Angela Merkel should feel honored to receive a card from you.

P.S. Speaking of men and women, would you believe me if I told you my last post led to some green person’s comment that said I am… a misogynist? How rude!

You will live forever, Blue. Trust me.

haha! The French may know that well but never understand.

Who dared to say that?! I shall go find them and give them a verbal slapping! TCH!

Happy Christmas my Blue friend 🙂

I hope yours was as good as mine. :))

Lets compare notes. 🙂

Someone?

Someone AKA the best friend ever! 🙂

yeke…..kalu gitu aku yg. silap…sorrylah….Bujang x baca habis…….lagi pun aku x sihat, baru ok. sikit ni……bujang kena denggi…….Ni darah dah ok.

* i have seasonal affective disorder. it lasts for four seasons.

* i always feel for Daedalus. raising a son ain’t easy.

* i’d like a female doctor…

* my name is Name
my name is my slave name
my name is Snoop Doggy Dogg
my name is Slim Shady
my name is Phoenix

* happy christmas, my beloved! i write stories on instagram so i’m afraid i can’t get you anything…

*)

Ha! It lasts for 4 seasons! I hear ya!

I always wondered where the real Slim Shady was…

A very happy Christmas, my sweet, may it bring you reprieve from SAD and lots of happy! *)

Merry Christmas, Jules! Thought of you and Mum when I passed through Nashville on Monday. Did you ever report on The Merchant restaurant when you were there?

Merry Christmas, Grunt!

Yes! We went there – I sent you an e mail and pics of my dinner but I just checked and it hadn’t sent. DUH. It was delicious – good call! 🙂

The more you shall honor Me,
the more I shall bless you.
-the Infant Jesus of Prague
(<- Czech Republic, next to Russia)

trustNjesus ALWAYS, dear,
and wiseabove to Seventh-Heaven…
cuzz the only other realm aint too cool.
God bless your indelible soul.

Google+: kold_kadavr _flatliner

Cheers Matt. Giving that some thought.

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