Desert Island Must Have’s

February 24, 2012 5:06pm Published by Jules Smith in The Art Philosopher 23 Comments

Here’s a post inspired by Azra and also my friend Mandy.  Both have said they’d be interested in seeing my ‘bucket list’  The thing is I have already done my ‘bucket list’ and having re visited my “Things I wanna do before I die”  find that I am still happy with it bar one thing:
 I want to go to a desert island.  
 I often talk about this with one of my friends when we go out and have mused over it for hours having so much fun about our possible adventures and what we would take with us.  This list changes every time we play, much like my ‘dinner guest’ list when I play that. Once at a wedding party our table talked about it for hours and hours and it got more stupid the more champagne we drank (funny that) until some of us actually ended up arguing about it. There were some people I knew I’d get along with famously were I to be stuck with them on an island and others I would have no qualms about eating.   The thing that most excites me is what you would bring to a desert island if you were able to take 10 things.
Heres my list: (subject to change dependent upon rules and mood)
1 – Global satellite. Positioned directly over my island for internet.
2 – Solar panel. To charge my…..
3 –  ipad.  This way I would have many books to read, ideas on how to cook grubs, make a fire, a state of the art log cabin, design clothes from banana leaves and build a raft. This one item (that I will no doubt get mocked for wanting to take) holds hours of entertainment and knowledge!  I could still write my blog, send pictures of my ordeal, listen to itunes, become fluent in Greek, learn how to charm a man eating tribe, how to survive a shark attack and so on. 
4 – An ipad charger.  Bet you thought I’d forgotten that.
5-  A boat.  If there were no restrictions on this it would obviously be a cruise liner with a fully stocked bar.
6- Bear Grylls.  Because this man can deal with outdoor survival and scary animals leaving me free to read and sunbathe and…
7 – Gordon Ramsay because he is a michelin star chef and can make all the things Bear catches taste delicious.   With these two on my island I could be assured of an amazing spit roast.  ERRRR….. I”M TALKING ABOUT THE COOKING!  Plus Gordon Ramsay has very big feet.  They were a size 15 when he was in his teens!   You know what they say about men with big feet?  That’s right, they are very good at swimming so he would also be able to dive into the sea for fresh fish and knock up a great bouillabaisse or paella style desert island dish.  
8- Sunglasses.  Big ones.  Perfectly protected eyes and no need for makeup.
9 – Sun tan lotion.  I’m not burning!  I want a nice even tan. 
10 – I’m now torn between toothpaste, an aged oak barrel of wine or a blanket.  I really can’t decide.  If I’m allowed a cruise liner with a fully stocked bar I can forgo the wine.  If I get cold then bear grills can skin me a…no, no, maybe I could get a cuddle instead or fashion something out of leaves.  I hate being cold.  I’ll go with the toothpaste.
Now then – if you were dropped off at my desert island what would you bring?  Make it good or I won’t let you borrow my ipad! 


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Cute. If I close my eyes and think for a while, do you know what scares me the most? Not the death or any pain that may need to endure before my last breath but the thought of not having internet.
Your ipad and ipad charger just assured me that i am not alone.

Oh no, you’re not alone. I’m right with you 🙂

Oh no, you’re not alone. I’m right with you 🙂

LOL @ Gordan Ramsay. Ok, so I would say that your iPad and iPad charger count as one item – so that leaves room for the toothbrush or the blanket 🙂

That’s why I like you Azra -because you’re kind! Thanks! The blanket it is!

I’d urge you to choose the toothbrush for two reasons: (1) Gordon has a clean-teeth fetish – clean teeth make him want to cook – and (2) I’m sure he would like to keep you warm, in which case the blanket would be a redundant item on your list. I know… it’s too scary an image to even imagine. Or is it? 😉

I would bring a hammock for myself and a ladyshave for you. I don’t approve of women shaving their legs (and other places), but it may be necessary if want Mr Grylls to sweep you off your feet.

Your name is top of the list for I’m a Celebrity bush tucker trials as a a good way to practice before the desert island trip

Mr GB – That’s good thinking. Never thought about that. Plus I could shave one of your legs to see what it looked like! The naked Gorilla.

Well you see, this is why I’m taking Gordon and Bear so I don’t have to deal with nasty grubs, making fires and cooking things. If I was on that programme I’d be voted off within a day for too much whining!

Daniel Craig.

Now you’re talking my kinda language Belle!… slurp, drool.

hah. love your list 😉 I think Bear Grylls is a good addition. Although beware, he seems to run everywhere. I am not sure he knows how to walk.

Hello Deirdre! I know he DOES do that. I’ll give him some wine – he might chill out a bit!

i’ll bring you shampoo and toilet paper :p
aha. you’d need those 🙂

Oh my! I can’t believe I forgot those Jaya! Good call!

I like your version of the desert island theme – one is not stranded on said island, one goes there with all the necessities!
I’d bring my own ipad – we might not be too good about sharing yours.
Ditto re: a couple of skilled men… 😉

Exactly Beth! Ha ha! Why make life difficult!

Everybody – even my friend and colleague Azra (I love humblebragging and sharing links to my blog) – even Azra wants to know about your list, but nobody cares about poor RC and his ingenious bicket um… bouquet um… How do you spell that word!… bucket list. Sigh. Oh well, let’s have a look at yours now.

Solar panal to charge your… iPhone battery pack AKA charger? That must be it. (Listen, I’m recovering, so I’m not actually bright today.)
iPad… of course. Well, I was pretty close. Half a point for RC.
Gordon?…. Well, he does say the word f@ck a lot… All you need to do to get his attention is cook poorly.
sun tan lotion… Good point, good point. Well, you’ve got an iPad, a charger that actually works and a satellite, so all you need to do is type the magic words (, and if they don’t have any sun tan lotion to sell to you, I’m sure you can order a book about it and how to assume the right position whilst tanning.
TAKE THE WINE! Always take the wine.

Your bucket list is very long RCB! Wow your life is going to be so exciting!
You’re right, of COURSE always take the wine, what was I thinking.

I suddenly realised we’ve known each other for quite a while now. How time flies, Jules! It’s so depressing. I could do with some wine now. 🙂

Kindle Fire (WITH BOOKS), more wine (duh), Pool Noodles, bug spray… Can I come to the island?! Pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee?

You had me at more wine Angie!

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