E is for English Cowgirl

April 6, 2016 8:35pm Published by Jules Smith in Whimsy On A Wednesday 11 Comments

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There’s been a load of compromisin’
On the road to my horizon
But I’m gonna be where the lights are shinin’ on me.
Like a rhinestone cowgirl
Riding out on a horse in a star-spangled rodeo.
Like a rhinestone cowgirl…

My ultimate goal was to get myself kitted up as a lil’ cowgirl in the big wild west. My dream was realised yesterday by my fairy godmother, Teresa.

First off she bought me some mighty fine cowboy boots. Oh yeah, an’ these boots were made for walkin’ my friends. Look at ‘em! I got my walkin’ swagger all off an’ everythin’

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These beauties were swiftly followed by a suede tassle bag to hide my whiskey in and a low swung belt to hang off my dancin’ hips.

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Next stop – The hat shop. I’m not going to show you this yet as it is going to go into my H post. This shop was cooler than coolio cool in a block of ice coolness. I never knew hats were SO EXPENSIVE. Well after some tryin’ on an’ all, my fairy godmother got me a fine summer cowgirl hat. Well, I don’t have it yet as it needs to be ordered and steamed and all sorts of things that I never realised happened to hats. However, whilst I wait for my fine headwear my fairy godmother told me I had to pick myself a hat band. A what? A hat band. This is like a mini belt that goes round your hat to make it unique. I could have gone for girly rhinestones but that’s way too pretty for a lil’ missy like me. I’m more earthy and basic. So here is my hat thingamajig. ‘Aint it cute? I’m wearing it like a dog collar until my hat comes.

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Like that wasn’t enough, my fairy godmother then takes me into the Prada version of a Wild West store. One of those shops that smells of superiority, aged old oak and Bollinger class. The sales lady looked at my enchilada stained T -shirt and worn Levi’s with a look of amusement. Bovvered. I didn’t care because I was with my ever so glamorous and swag fairy godmother and felt like Cinderella waiting to be transformed. I hadn’t even brushed my hair and let me tell you now, my unbrushed hair ‘aint pretty. It’s like sun dried hay after a windstorm. Like I said, bovvered?

FullSizeRender-10They had alligator skins an’ everythin’

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Things in this shop were proper expensive. A skirt in the sale cost more than my mortgage. No matter. “Try it on,” said my fairy godmother.

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“Oh you gotta have it, it’s so cute!” she declared when I trotted out in it. “And you need a cowgirl shirt…” Out came some beautifully, washed out, super-soft, denim tailored shirt with azure pearled buttons. It cost more than my council tax. It is FLIPPIN’ BEAUTIFUL and I could cry with excitement!

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‘Cept I didn’t cry cos I’m now a hard ass cowgirl, right? I’m ready for the road in front of me which is looking remarkably like this:

“You’ve painted up your lips and rolled and curled your tinted hair…..Jules, are you contemplating going out somewhere?”

“Why yes I am, Sir. I’m a honky tonk woman headin’ out to a hoedown this evenin’.”

“And…”

“I’m no quitter
But I finally quit livin’ on dreams,
I’m hungry for laughter and here ever after,
I’m after whatever the other life brings”

 

Tonight baby, y’all can call me Jolene…

11 Comments

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Yee haw bet you’re looking good. Don’t know about being born under a wandering star. I think you must have been born under a lucky star

Lucky, wandering and a special Strangel kinda sun! 😉

Haha! LOVE it! Brings a whole new meaning to “Fill ya boots!”
Totally wanted that girls necklace when I first thought it was a feather then I realised it wasn’t. Still, I want a silver feather necklace right now! Going to make a wish on my bewwwwts! *)

Now you need a revolver (hawg leg) to go in a holster the you’re gettin’ and some ammunition. It’s the only way to be a fully authentic Texan.

P. S. That’s one fancy sombrero.

I sure do, cowboy so pass me your weapon!

That’s one I bought at a French country fair, believe it or not! Not a patch on my new one a comin’ 🙂

Got caught up on all your posts today. Looks like you’re having a fabulous time, and I’m glad to see it. Well deserved dear Jolene xx

Hehehehe! Thank you sister. I’ll be over to catch up with you soon as I can. Busy gettin’ my gear on and gettin’ in character! Love, Jolene x

I’ve done some ramblin’ and ridin’ in my day…my fairy godmother gave me a quarter horse when I was a teenager that provided hours and hours of wonderful trail-riding memories. Great post–and i don’t need to remind you to have fun on the A-Z, you are riding high! Gail at Making Life An Art

Thank you, Gail! And welcome. I’m off to find a horse next! I’ll be over to visit soon 🙂

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