Personal Portrayal

June 10, 2017 3:08pm Published by Jules Smith in The Art Philosopher 21 Comments

street art

Satirical Snapshots Bringing you Art Philosophy At The Weekend!

What is art?  As a world renowned Art Philosopher I always pay close attention to personal art: things that people adorn themselves with, the  pictures they have on their walls and so on.  I like to analyse what they mean or interpret what somebody is trying to say about themselves.  So, if you ever invite me to dinner at your pad, know that I will be studying you and your stuff.

El Condo

Recently I stayed at an Airbnb in Houston, Texas.  I had a nicely furnished condominium right near the hip, Galleria area.  I found the wall hangings in this apartment very interesting.  Let’s have a gander:

Positive quote picture

Picture 1:  I quite agree with this sentiment but it works both ways.  So, If I think you’re an arsehole I’m not going to be afraid to tell you.

And next up….

Positive wall hanging

Picture 2:  How to make people feel useless and worthless. That’s a lot of pressure trying to find something amazing to do.  I suppose it depends on your concept of amazing.  Maybe actually getting yourself out of bed or remembering to pay the gas bill is amazing to you, but for me this means achieving something outstanding or experiencing insane amounts of fun.  Everyday? Prepare to be disappointed.

And the final wall hanging  in my apartment?


Head in clouds art

Picture 3:  The stairway to your mind is an uphill struggle. Don’t go there.  If you do, your wisdom will be clouded, it will be a wasted trip and your head will cave in. Why?  Because you didn’t do anything AMAZING today and you’re a failure.

Readers – I’d be interested in your analysis of this mental picture.

Is what?

Unfortunately, on the final day in my condo the air-con broke down and started to creep up to 85 in order to try and steam me to death. This is not funny in Texas, in summer.  I called out the owner who  spent ages trying to make it cool down to no avail. As a result, I did something amazing. I packed up my cases and left for a nearby hotel. Hotel Derek  had a very odd sign outside that I’d like to add to the art selection on this post.


Derek Hotel Sign

Derek is what?

Such is the childish, British psyche that I was very tempted to go and find a big, black marker pen and write, ” A Wanker” underneath.

Maybe you can tell me what Derek is because I’m at a complete loss….




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The Derek is… awesome, clearly. Note the snow in the picture of the woman’s head. Was her portrait near the thermostat?

No, LSP, because it would have bloody melted! 🙂

The woman’s head is hard as a rock. Climb up there and see for yourself…

Hotel Derek is a misprint. It should be “Hotel Dalek” and my sense is that the Airbnb person was in the employ of Dr. Who – who wanted you to save the universe while he was off doing something more important.

Some maintain that the Daleks are a fictional extraterrestrial race of mutants. And you’d think so if they didn’t have that big monumental building to the Daleks in Houston.

Those are my theories and I’m sticking to them.

How smart on the woman, LL.

Oh yes, the Dalek runs the inner loop like a boss. The Dalek and I are on very good terms and he actually helps me exterminate a few ne’er-do-wells.

Stairway To Heaven comes to mind…but that’s too easy.
“Got your head in the clouds”…ummm….can’t remember what tune that was.
So it must be Traffics’ Heaven Is In Your Mind…which is a totally cool tune!

Heaven is in your mind! I like that. I’ll go along with that analysis, Rick! 🙂

I gave up on air-conditioning many moons ago. I use the wind.


I don’t know how people live in these kind of summers without ice lollies and air con. Back in the day they must have been proper hardcore. Just like Derek. *)

What is art? Art is as is Derek. Hope this helps. . .

JL, that is the perfect answer to such a question. How arty of you! ;0

If only we could get a glimpse at all of the adornments of everyone we meet…we’d be downright scary in the accuracy of our assessments…or downright scared of the state of human affairs. That’s not even counting the devoid ones, which may just be what Derek is. 😉

I think we should podcast on the subject or write a book together, Tracy.

I think I’d likely be downright scared by the outcome, truth be told. And then there’s Derek 🙂

Derek is a sitcom, written by – and starring – Ricky Gervais.
It wasn’t as good as his previous offerings.
Nuff sed.

I quite agree, Masher.

I have unshakable faith in your ability to do something amazing every day, Jules. Just get out of bed, call someone to fix the air conditioner and train to be a circus performer. DEREK IS JEALOUS.

I like your faith in me Mr. Gorilla Bananas. I think I’d make an excellent lion tamer, as it happens. Watch this space….WHIP!

Derek is jealous. Of course.

But it’s a DRY heat, dear. Better for your hair.

No it’s not. It’s a steamy, humid hair destroying heat, M. I look like a trip back to the 70’s with crimped uncoolness.

Of course Derek is. It makes perfect sense to me. Jules is. Blue is. Derek is. Jules is so she exists. And how! Well, that all depends on there being a fully-functioning AC. Can’t blame you.

I love the stairway to your mind.
Thanks for the poem, too.


See, this is why I need you in my life, Blue. You simplify, explain and the world makes sense to me again. That’s why you’re the bestest.

We is – innit. 🙂


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